maybe it's a combination of winter/exams. idk, i've been a big pig since i've got out of uni and put on over 4 kgs, i disgust myself to no end and feel your pain.

uh, what can i say about divorce/separation except that it sucks and (idk how to put this in a more PC way so:) you are 100% not required to a) counsel either parent on the matter or b) get stuck in the middle. with a cautionary, the latter is inevitable *shrugs*. we will talk properly next week (imagining us sitting in a cafe talking our way through several hours worth of coffee. so much to talk about).

Bleh. Well, next week will be exam-free and hopefully gluten free, too, so if that doesn't kick it I'm going to see the freaking doctor. >:( Haha, you should totally come to Kung Fu with me while you're down, that'll shave off a few pounds! Easy!

I love that so much. I think that perfectly sums it up. You are not required to do any of these things but they'll probably happen anyway. I just feel shitty about it because it's so AVOIDABLE, it's not like, one of those epic I-will-never-love-you-again conflicts, it's more, 'I'm sick of you, you make me feel shit about myself' and. Gah, yes. coffee for hours. I like this plan a lot. We could even do a little tour of coffee places and see which ones we like. In advance though, I refuse to support starbucks while in my city, so I AINT going there!

and cruelty-free? :D but yeah, i support the doctor plan. i'm going to bring it up w/ my doctor too, when i go to get my never-exposed-to-tuberculosis certification, but i expect she'll just say i haven't been eating enough protein (lies, lots of tofu and nuts and mushrooms have been eaten).

wow, that's...idk what that is. i'm someone who says 'don't you dare stay together "for the kids"' and it makes me sad to see your parents on the rocks because some small part of me still wants to kindle a belief in marriage... awwwww Starbucklessness.... nah that's fine, we'll judge them by their storefronts and only patron places with character. man i need to buy a camera to bring with me.

Absolutely! (or at least wherever possible!) I don't think that putting on 4kg is too bad though, it's not like your body carries a lot of weight normally. Still, a little concerning if there's not good reason for it.

Man, I just risked calling my Dad for the first time in like 2 weeks, because I've been so angry I didn't think I could. There was minimal yelling but fuck, I don't think there's anything redeemable there at all. He has just totally disengaged from the marriage. At one point he was like, 'I think you're trying to fix us' and I was like, 'WELL WHY THE HELL WOULDN'T I!?! You're my PARENTS!' and then started bawling my eyes out. I just hope at this point I can salvage some kind of a relationship with him, because I've always been on Mum's side, and there was kind a tacit acknowledgement of that today when we were about to hang up and he was like, 'Thanks for making an attempt, don't go away amongst all this.' I was like, 'I'll try' I mean, it's not just his fault but like, so much of the marriage has become negative because of him that I can't help but be like, 'why won't you just TRY!?' Fuck. I shouldn't ... I just shouldn't, but it's so HARD.

And yes, meanwhile I'm like, 'wow, marriages really can't last forever...' at this point my head is really fucked up about it but I'm trying to view it like, people come into your life and you love them and commit to them, and if they move on again you can try to make that parting such that you can remain friends. I dunno. The statistics still are that half of marriages work, but there does seem to be a new theme of people splitting once the kids have grown up. It's kind of freaky and awful. I mean, I always knew it was difficult but I thought that there were good bits in between that made up for it. I guess not.

Sorry for ranting on, but I know you understand, so, *clings*

You can borrow my camera as much as you like! I'm planning on photo bonanza so I can finally get a nice one of you to put on my photo wall.

i think the really hard thing for you as an adult in this situation is that you can see the full picture, so of course you want to fix it. my advice is to try not to get too involved, because you might have the tools but you won't be able to use them for anything other than clogging the gears (boom!). only they can fix it, and maybe they're really at a stage when they can't, idk. i don't know about your parents but my mum never takes my advice (unless someone else offers her the same advice at a later date, grrr it's infuriating), i think it's just a parent thing. i'm saying this because the best case scenario would be to keep your relationship with both parents intact, which means not antagonising one or the other, which is really hard to avoid if you're too involved.

remaining friends is definitely the best case scenario. i'm kind of just boggling at it, because your parents lasted so long and, well, no one wants to be alone as they grow older. and it's not like one of them is cheating or beating the other up (..er i really hope not. & believe me this is super traumatic & involves The Law & other horrid things), as in they don't have another relationship to turn to. i just say this because my mother is bitterly lonely, and my father is marrying (we're all wtf about the marrying...) a control freak.

if there's one thing i understand it's divorce!

awwww i'mma be on your photo wall~ let's take lots. we should record a video blog too. me and kriss did that and i always watch back over it and grin.

That's really good advice, and now that I've heard from both of them I think I just need to step back and let them sort things out for themselves. You're right about the tools, all the helpful advice in the world isn't going to do anything if they're not interested in hearing it, and it's best not to come from me anyway.

I know, it just kind of seems STUPID to break up after 36 years. It's like, don't you REALISE how nice it is to have a partner? Apparently my Dad's sister said to him, "Love? Love! I haven't been in love for 20 years!" (She's been in a relationship now for about 4 years XD) Getting some flatmates doesn't really compare!

-_-;;; the specialist! But seriously, thanks heaps, that's really good solid advice.

Yus! You actually are already nominally on my photo-wall, but I'm not going to tell you how you'll have to see for yourself. Video-blog could happen! I'd just have to like... put a bag over my head. But that would kind of be AWESOME.

Yup (:

Fuck, 36 years. Wow. They're gonna quickly realise how not-fun it is without one, just saying. Maybe that's the reality check they need, idk.

♥

O: this makes me feel both honoured and mildly anxious! I am not letting you put a bag over your head, hmmph.