It's 2am. I've actually been doing homework for the last two hours (because I told myself I was allowed to stay up late but only if I used it for homework,) and I just wanted to share how much of a weirdo I have become.

It's been fun doing this film-script writing course this semester partly because the lecturer never talks like our dreams aren't a reality. He's always like, 'when you've finished your script and sent it off to the producers you'll want to do such and such.' And, 'once your script is being made...blah blah blah' Which, I dunno, I've found a slightly odd experience because getting a novel finished to the point where I could send it to publishers has always been SUCH a far away goal, I mean, I've barely made a dent in any of my original works, so it's not something I think about being realised very often.

However, at the moment I'm working on a pilot episode for what I've planned as being an anime series, but could also easily work as a live action series, or even about three movies, depending on how the plot and characters are developed. Anyway, long story short, all this talk of actually getting a script developed made me think about the who/where/when/what/hows of it, and suddenly, (while thinking about Spn, coz I do a lot) I decided that it would be perfect if my show was being developed right as S5 finished, and if I could snag Jensen AND Jared to be in my show. (It's perfect! They could be together! It's an ensemble cast so they don't have to work so hard! They're interesting characters! We could film in LA! Everything they waaaaaant.) And somehow, this idle thought has developed into this whole THING and now I'm basing the characters really strongly around how the boys would portray that sort of character (Jensen's character wears GLASSES, guys!) and now the characters are in LOVE. (well, they will be, ever.)

But... now my heart is REALLY SET ON IT! And it's about 99.999% likely to end in tragedy for my poor, silly heart.

But! But! I just wanted to share my silliness because how AWESOME would that be, eh guys? I could be all sneaky and get them to LEGITIMATELY MAKE OUT ON CAMERA. And they would all think it was just because of their characters. *snorts*

Anyway, other than sharing with everyone JUST HOW ELABORATE my flights of fancy can be, I just wanted to bounce for joy a little because my draft for the pilot is almost done and... seriously now, once this is ready I actually CAN send this pilot away, like, NOW, to potential producers. And that's sort of... insane and scary and exciting. I'm completely in love with this story and even if (due to my inexperience) I don't get taken on as a writer of the full series, I'd love to see this made, because I think it really rocks and has strong selling potential.

That is all, I am still overwhelmed by uni work. My calendar is a solid wall of blocked out work/study/otherstuff for the next two weeks. Sorry for long rambling post. Love love!

Okay, I think I've just decided that I can't write, and that despite having an awesomely cool idea for a story, I am completely incapable of doing justice to said story's awesomeness, and really, I should just give up, crawl into a hole and die - ridding the world of my unhelpful, stupidly annoying lack of ability.


RARG!

Instead, as it is the story I created, I will continue to write it, even though it's SHIT, knowing that if someone else cooler than me wrote this story they could make it SO MUCH BETTER, and hope that the characters will forgive me for doing such a bloody poor job of it. *flails and stomps*

Meanwhile, because I've been hiding from writing due to the above reasons, my brain has reverted to it's old ways of hitting me upside the head with entire new storylines when I least expect it. I came up with a whole new story the other day - in a three part series form, but the only problem is that it's a FUCKING ANIME (or manga)!

No no, seriously, this story _cannot exist_ in written form, it HAS to be visual and I JUST CAN'T DRAW THAT WELL! *weeps* Because I'm a sad, sad individual with no time and no ability, I'm thinking of just sending the whole plot sypnosis off to some anime company somewhere and seeing if they'll take it off my hands, just because I can't deal with having his kick-ass story and not being able to do anything with it. The downside is, well, *pets story* it's miiiiine, I don't want anyone else to write it and I doubt Random Anime Company (even if they did accept the sypnosis,) would be interested in some random english person writing the scripts for them. *flails again* I suppose I should say this even though it won't work out like that because nothing in life works out like that, but if anyone is or knows someone with professional (or near professional) level artistic ability who might be interested in co-oping this project with me, I would be more than thrilled. (It's het, too, so you can ask your straighter friends as well. :/)

Anyway, I'm a little bummed about that, but also stoked to have come up with a new concept, I just wish I could do something with it ;_;

So yeah, I'm off to write badly, and maybe catch up on the stupidly large amounts of txts, emails and comments I'm behind on. @_@