Not sure if I can actually sustain working a 9-5 while dealing with anxiety issues and depression.

So, internets, a question:

Doing a Masters in Creative Writing at Victoria University... good idea or bad idea?

Kind of.

Hi all, sorry that I've disappeared completely over the last year couple of months. I'm home sick from work today which is the only real reason I have time for this entry today, but because I'm sick I'm pretty tired, so I'll try keep it short.

Where I've been:

-Mostly work. Been working 40-60 hour weeks, which isn't the end of the world for some people, I guess, but I'm not used to it at all, so I just have NO ENERGY at the end of the day. None. Whatsoever. I haven't even been reading, I just come home and refresh facebook a few times then sleep. Also I have two hour-long commutes on top of 9-hour shifts so there isn't really any time, quite apart from the tiredness.

-Family. My parents announced mid-December that they (dad) had decided they should definitely split up. So. Um. Yeah. Things have been pretty stressful and busy on that front. My mum has moved down here for the time being, staying with her sister, but since they've been married for 36 years, and she's never been independent, there's kind of a massive learning curve for her. So any time I'm not at work I'm usually helping her out with things like opening her own bank account and all this... CRAP that... anyway, I'm not going to get into the emotional side of it, it's just a huge time and energy suck right now.

-Other people. On the maybe two nights a week I'm not at work or with Mum or sleeping I try to schedule in my poor boyfriend (he's earned the word now, mostly... on the days it doesn't freak me out,) or one of those weird people that think I have time to be their friend. Silly, silly people.

That's about it. I'm really tired. I have another month before uni starts and oh MAN I'm looking forward to it. And to think I thought I would have MORE time in the holidays. After mininano I haven't done really any writing these holidays.

BUT

I have been working on Dry My Tears over the last few weeks. (!!!)

I gotta go lie down, but I just want to say sorry to the world for turning into a ghost lately, can't guarantee non-ghostlikeness for the rest of the month, but I'm trying my best. :)

As always, love love!

Wow, okay, life overload. I'm up in Blenheim at the moment, staying with Mum and Dad until Saturday. Finished class okay, I can pick up my final assignments when I get back which I'm pretty keen to do, and gotta sort out my enrolment for next year, which potentially is going to be extremely confusing because I have a mental year of half-undergrad half-honours including a whole-year paper that I have to start half-way through and BAH! Yeah, I have to go in to do it in person, because it's not going to work online.

Anyway! I'm doing mini_nanowrimo, 200 words minimum a day. Got about 500 so far. Working on my Season 4 follow up first. It's at 10,000 words at the moment, I'm hoping to finish it pretty soon. I think it doesn't completely suck, so looking forward to that. After that I'm working on another Spn WiP, I think. But for some reason I don't feel like telling anyone about what's happening with that one, but I really really like it. (To the point where I'm finding it hard to continue it because what's there is so good I don't want to ruin it!)

Been working a million hours, (last week it was 46, including one 13 hour day. No thanks) but that's over now for 11 days. 11 whole days of FREEDOM. Hoping to do lots and lots of writing, catching up with people and reeessting.

What's going on with everyone else? I have been totally fail at the internet over the last month. So so so so so so sorry!

Holy crap my flist just EXPLODED. It's raining fic! So much yay to the mods and members of j2_remix. SO. MUCH. LOVE.

I might be getting a week off work! A REAL holiday! But first I have not next week but the week after where I work 42 hours. Which is like, the most I've ever worked, (not including Uni) in one week before. Woo.

( Spn 5x06 reaction in brief )

Meanwhile, I didn't get my scholarships, but I'm not panicking because I'm actually really looking forward to some time off uni. I might actually catch up with some writing and some reading and read some Durkheim and shit like that that I never actually get around to while DOING my degree.

Worky work tomorrow. Peace out!

P.S. Is it really wrong when you see someone on your flist that is listed as a mutual friend and you have NO IDEA who they are? I've decided that they must be one of the many people who have used a rename token lately because I'm pretty sure last time I checked I had a pretty good idea of who everyone was... o_0

Man! The last two weeks have been so insanely busy! Today is my first real day off in weeks! I was supposed to have a big list of things to do but I just thought, 'hang on, sanity has to come before other things', so I'm taking a mental health day and staying home instead of heading into uni.

I HAVE, however, been working quietly on fic. I think I've sorted out the main problems with my post-22 fic, and done about 500 words on it today. I deleted 2,000 words last week so I'm glad I've (hopefully) fixed it. I'm also trying to leave room for it to be vaguely S5 compliant because since I have two assignments and only 3 more days of not-work between now and the 10th, (11th here, technically,) I doubt I'll have it finished before then!

I kind of hate my new job at the moment, but that's mainly because I haven't had my proper days off this holidays and I'm very aware that this was my only time for a break before the end of semester.

OH, and I found out today that the ONE paper I need to take to graduate has been moved to second semester next year. So uh, unless I can convince them to let me out of it, my degree is delayed by a YEAR. Trust me when I tell you that I was NOT IMPRESSED AT ALL! I've sent off an email straight away, because I'm FURIOUS. Because if they had informed us in advance I could have either taken it this year, or not taken it, gotten out of it and I would have been finishing THIS semester. I am SOOOOOOOO FUCKED OFF.

Finally, I'm working on the next episode of my anime now as well. I've so far mentally cast Jared, Jensen AND Danneel to play various characters.

That's enough of me talking for one day. Love love!

EDIT: Oh, and I just wanted to have a little mini-spaz over the fact that my supernatural/J2 folder in my bookmarks reached 400 fics this week. 400! I have an addiction and no shame!

Wheee, I can has new layout! It's so cleeeean, and simpllllle. I've also set up another LJ to help my Dad with a whole lot of stuff related to getting his church online, and it is ALSO very pretty and has a million gorgeous icons that I can't fit over here. (mostly because I am nostalgic for my cute home-made c/p icons from a million years ago) I wish I could show you guys but it's under my real name and all related to family and churchy things (I had to not pick one icon I liked because it was to seeeexy. Sad day.) BUT, very cool. I will always love this journal the most, oh yeah!

I don't have time for a proper entry but a few things:

I started a new job this week! Eee! It was very scary and hardcore. It's for one of the top jewellery chain stores in NZ and it's pretty intense in terms of their standards and the amount of product knowledge you have to have. I know SO MUCH MORE about diamonds and gold right now than I EVER thought I would. Too bad for me I don't really LIKE diamonds, otherwise I'd be screaming with joy right now. Anyway, was epic. Downsides: location is an hour's travelling away from my house. Also, 25 hours a week. (To reference that, I WAS working 10. :/) Upsides: Cool people, less EEEE STRESSSSS than old job, and HOLY CRAP I'M GOING TO HAVE SO MUCH MONEY. (in comparison to what I was doing...) Oh, and they want me to work full time over the holidays. WIN. So yeah, it's going to be a lot of pressure next term balancing uni and job, but hopefully I'll manage.

Still working on 2 Spn fics. They're both okay? We'll see how they go. Both probably will be about 10,000 words, at around 3,000 now.

Okay, I gotta go finish reading Ernest Hemingway's Green Hills of Africa. It's for class. I don't recommend it to ANYONE. It's 200 pages of shooting rhinos and lions and leopards and oh GOSH it's horrible. STAY AWAY FROM THE BEAUTIFUL WONDERS OF NATURE! YOU CAN APPRECIATE THEM WITHOUT HAVING TO KILL THEM! FOR FUCK'S SAKE!

It's a lie, if you tell anyone you saw me, I'll come and shoot you. I swear, I am very scary and... you know, armed. (In my country where arms are illegal. Though not ARMS, because of course we have THOSE. GOSH!)

I just wanted to have a teeny flag-waving moment, because today I wrote 2,300 words of a brand new shiny fic which my dreams provided for me (Sam/Dean dreams for the win!) to comfort me because I'm jammed on all my other fic at the moment.

And then I wrote a poem that I think is really kick-ass. I'll post when it's edited.

Unfortunately, I did NOT do any work on my essay which is due next Friday. Woo, scary. I have major assignments every two weeks this semester. It's CRAZY.

Oh, and (part of the crazy that is keeping me well and truly submersed in life) I have a job interview on Tuesday. Hoping not to be at my current job for more than a few more weeks.

Love love.