Wow, okay, life overload. I'm up in Blenheim at the moment, staying with Mum and Dad until Saturday. Finished class okay, I can pick up my final assignments when I get back which I'm pretty keen to do, and gotta sort out my enrolment for next year, which potentially is going to be extremely confusing because I have a mental year of half-undergrad half-honours including a whole-year paper that I have to start half-way through and BAH! Yeah, I have to go in to do it in person, because it's not going to work online.

Anyway! I'm doing mini_nanowrimo, 200 words minimum a day. Got about 500 so far. Working on my Season 4 follow up first. It's at 10,000 words at the moment, I'm hoping to finish it pretty soon. I think it doesn't completely suck, so looking forward to that. After that I'm working on another Spn WiP, I think. But for some reason I don't feel like telling anyone about what's happening with that one, but I really really like it. (To the point where I'm finding it hard to continue it because what's there is so good I don't want to ruin it!)

Been working a million hours, (last week it was 46, including one 13 hour day. No thanks) but that's over now for 11 days. 11 whole days of FREEDOM. Hoping to do lots and lots of writing, catching up with people and reeessting.

What's going on with everyone else? I have been totally fail at the internet over the last month. So so so so so so sorry!

I just got very confused as to why I had a tab open in the corner of Firefox that appeared on first glance to be about the Satan Bible. o_0

Then my brain engaged and I remembered that all of oh, ten minutes ago, I was looking up references to Satan in the Bible for the fic I'm writing. But yeah. Confusion moment. Today I am at 600 words and counting. (Fic is at 5,600), about another 3-4 scenes to go I hope before it's done. Looks like my estimate of 10,000 words will be about right.

I had an awesome night and Kung Fu yesterday, I actually was getting a lot of stuff right, and so were most of the other newer students and our Instructor was getting really excited that we were so in the game. Was a real buz. Anyway, I have to stop writing here or I'm not going to have time to finish this scene before uni this avo. Might be making Pavlova tomorrow! Exciiiiiting! (My first! It'll probably flop but I DON'T CARE!)


EDIT: 1,000 words and scene 1 is done! (I skipped it earlier because I wasn't sure what the show would do and if I could work it in.) Getting close to the finiiiiish. I am exciiiited. It's been so long since I've put up a complete story!

I AM REALLY SPACED OUT RIGHT NOW!

No, really, I actually feel a little bit drugged or something. My eyes aren't even focusing right. This assignment isn't THAT hard! But I can't concentrate to save myself! I'm not even particularly sleep-deprived right now. :(

I'm gonna give up in a minute, go call my work and find out why the hell my pay cheque hasn't come in, go into uni and pick up the key to the ballroom for Kung Fu on Sunday and hopefully by then that will be enough of a break to get the old brain functioning again. Maybe I need food. I probably just need food, everyone.

SUPERNATURAL TOMORROW! I'm annoyed because I might not get to see it until like, 5am the next morning, but DAMN if I'm going to wait till I get back from my brother's party on Saturday before I watch it. @_@

I'm not going to have my fic finished on time, but I'll finish it asap anyway. li

Man! The last two weeks have been so insanely busy! Today is my first real day off in weeks! I was supposed to have a big list of things to do but I just thought, 'hang on, sanity has to come before other things', so I'm taking a mental health day and staying home instead of heading into uni.

I HAVE, however, been working quietly on fic. I think I've sorted out the main problems with my post-22 fic, and done about 500 words on it today. I deleted 2,000 words last week so I'm glad I've (hopefully) fixed it. I'm also trying to leave room for it to be vaguely S5 compliant because since I have two assignments and only 3 more days of not-work between now and the 10th, (11th here, technically,) I doubt I'll have it finished before then!

I kind of hate my new job at the moment, but that's mainly because I haven't had my proper days off this holidays and I'm very aware that this was my only time for a break before the end of semester.

OH, and I found out today that the ONE paper I need to take to graduate has been moved to second semester next year. So uh, unless I can convince them to let me out of it, my degree is delayed by a YEAR. Trust me when I tell you that I was NOT IMPRESSED AT ALL! I've sent off an email straight away, because I'm FURIOUS. Because if they had informed us in advance I could have either taken it this year, or not taken it, gotten out of it and I would have been finishing THIS semester. I am SOOOOOOOO FUCKED OFF.

Finally, I'm working on the next episode of my anime now as well. I've so far mentally cast Jared, Jensen AND Danneel to play various characters.

That's enough of me talking for one day. Love love!

EDIT: Oh, and I just wanted to have a little mini-spaz over the fact that my supernatural/J2 folder in my bookmarks reached 400 fics this week. 400! I have an addiction and no shame!

Wheee, I can has new layout! It's so cleeeean, and simpllllle. I've also set up another LJ to help my Dad with a whole lot of stuff related to getting his church online, and it is ALSO very pretty and has a million gorgeous icons that I can't fit over here. (mostly because I am nostalgic for my cute home-made c/p icons from a million years ago) I wish I could show you guys but it's under my real name and all related to family and churchy things (I had to not pick one icon I liked because it was to seeeexy. Sad day.) BUT, very cool. I will always love this journal the most, oh yeah!

I don't have time for a proper entry but a few things:

I started a new job this week! Eee! It was very scary and hardcore. It's for one of the top jewellery chain stores in NZ and it's pretty intense in terms of their standards and the amount of product knowledge you have to have. I know SO MUCH MORE about diamonds and gold right now than I EVER thought I would. Too bad for me I don't really LIKE diamonds, otherwise I'd be screaming with joy right now. Anyway, was epic. Downsides: location is an hour's travelling away from my house. Also, 25 hours a week. (To reference that, I WAS working 10. :/) Upsides: Cool people, less EEEE STRESSSSS than old job, and HOLY CRAP I'M GOING TO HAVE SO MUCH MONEY. (in comparison to what I was doing...) Oh, and they want me to work full time over the holidays. WIN. So yeah, it's going to be a lot of pressure next term balancing uni and job, but hopefully I'll manage.

Still working on 2 Spn fics. They're both okay? We'll see how they go. Both probably will be about 10,000 words, at around 3,000 now.

Okay, I gotta go finish reading Ernest Hemingway's Green Hills of Africa. It's for class. I don't recommend it to ANYONE. It's 200 pages of shooting rhinos and lions and leopards and oh GOSH it's horrible. STAY AWAY FROM THE BEAUTIFUL WONDERS OF NATURE! YOU CAN APPRECIATE THEM WITHOUT HAVING TO KILL THEM! FOR FUCK'S SAKE!

It's a lie, if you tell anyone you saw me, I'll come and shoot you. I swear, I am very scary and... you know, armed. (In my country where arms are illegal. Though not ARMS, because of course we have THOSE. GOSH!)

I just wanted to have a teeny flag-waving moment, because today I wrote 2,300 words of a brand new shiny fic which my dreams provided for me (Sam/Dean dreams for the win!) to comfort me because I'm jammed on all my other fic at the moment.

And then I wrote a poem that I think is really kick-ass. I'll post when it's edited.

Unfortunately, I did NOT do any work on my essay which is due next Friday. Woo, scary. I have major assignments every two weeks this semester. It's CRAZY.

Oh, and (part of the crazy that is keeping me well and truly submersed in life) I have a job interview on Tuesday. Hoping not to be at my current job for more than a few more weeks.

Love love.

Ahrg, this is so poos. I'm in the mood to write, this day is scheduled for writing, I want to write something sweet and snuggly, but my muse has flown the coop! Waah!

I have three hours, three files open and no inspiration. Someone help! Cast a spell on me or give me a bunny or something! I've looked through my story-ideas file and nothing is filling me with joy. :( :( :( heeeeeeeelp meeeee.

On a mildly-related note, my manager yesterday was like, 'can you please work for 6 hours on one of your Annual Leave days you've had booked in for a month because you were stupid enough to tell us you'll actually be in town on that day, even though it's one of the only three days this YEAR you'll get to spend with both your brothers.' And then she had the nerve to ask me this morning if I could work tomorrow, too, so even though I have no plans tomorrow I was like, 'no, fuck off.' (paraphrase) because these are the few freaking days in my year I have time for writing and fuck if I'm going to give them all up to bloody WORK! ARG! And they all guilt me out because everyone is taking holidays at the same time and there's no cover, but man, once a year, ONCE A FREAKING YEAR my whole family gets together and I'm not giving up a freaking second of that to the same employers who don't let me go home for freaking christmas! *cough* so... yeah, that has me pissed off. -_-;;;

Do you guys know what I’m doing today? NOTHING! Yeah, that’s right! NOT A THING! I am puttering around the house in my PJs, I’m stealing my flatmate’s food so I don’t have to leave the house, I’m being sleepy, reading books and in general not using this day for anything productive. Why? Because I NEVER GET TO DO THIS! Well, not in the six weeks or so. And I only have today for it before work starts and begin my epic holidays-are-the-only-time-for-writing-these-days mission of DOOM.

I feel like it’s been about three months since I’ve updated. It hasn’t been all that long but so much has been going on. Since last entry, I have finished all essays, exams and etceteras. I am slowly gaining back my sanity, I’ve read about two thousand big bangs, and have even done a pile of writing.

I got an A- back on one of my big essays, which makes me hopeful I might end up with an A- for the paper. (If I can do THAT, then I reckon I can get my overall grade up to A’s by the end of next semester. If I can do THAT then I should be able to get funding up the wazzoo for masters. Unless there’s like, ten thousand applicants in my year. And if THAT happens I’ll just go around and bash them all until they quit. Easy.) I also got an A back yesterday on my anime script. Which was SUCH a personal victory because that lecturer marks REALLY hard. And I also agreed with all his con-crit so I really appreciate that I’ll be able to incorporate that criticism when I go back to edit it in a few months.

I just had mimei to visit for a week! It was really really awesome. We did lots of stuff, we sat and read things, she tried not to get addicted to Fall Out Boy fandom (and failed) I lol’d in her general direction. My cat was a giant snob and refused to acknowledge her for the entire trip. I shared with her how much fun it is to have a friend doing sculpture Fine Arts (performance art assistants FTW!) She forced me at knife-point to sign up to twitter (page_r was already taken! Arg!) and there was epic media-swaps.

This entry is getting really long so I’ll finish by saying the next chapter of DMTs WILL be going up these holidays. Even if I have to post something I think is complete shite. I also have the fist sequel to Pack Your Bags semi-finished. And about three other fics I might get done.

And finally:

-There is a limit to how many question marks are required. In any situation, know that there is a limit. EVEN IN LOL-CATS there is a limit. I know it sounds impossible, but seriously guys.

I just wrote the grammatically wackiest sentence of my life!

The ‘why’ of why people say ‘blood is thicker than water’ is to denote several things: endurance – blood will last forever; stability – blood can’t be broken; and loyalty – blood is socially meaningful.

Ignore the words, it's for an essay on kinship, just look at all that crazy punctuation! I have no idea if that actually is allowable by the magical punctuation rules but I DON'T CARE, it's CRAZY AND SHINY.

Also, there is kind of insane amounts of good fic flying around at the moment, and I'm reading NONE of it and I feel frustrated and proud at the same time.

Oh my gosh I just realised I've forgotten to do my washing for three days! Underwear emergency!

Rumble rumble rumble. My stomach has been all, viva la revolution for about a month now. I'm almost getting used to this constant, low-grade rumble in my guts, just, all the time. I need to finish some of the food in my fridge and then I'm trying a gluten-free diet. It's just pissing me off, now. My Mum thinks it's stress. (my Mum doesn't believe in actual illness, I think I broke my ankle once and she just told me to stop complaining and get myself some ice if it was bothering me. 9 months later I finally stopped limping and won't ever trust her assessments of health again) I told her I'm ALWAYS this stressed, why would my stomach purchase a fleet of cannons now? petite_ari suggested it might be an alien pregnancy. Everyone is being REAL HELPFUL, THANKS.

Spent an hour talking to my Mum about parent's marriage. Future is grim at this point.

ONE ESSAY OF FINAL 3 DOWN! TWO TO GO. OKAY WE CAN!

AHHHHHH! I am finding it really, REALLY hard not to read Flesh's big-bang! It's one of the four or so I'm actually looking forward to. BUT I'M NOT ALLOWED BECAUSE IF I START I WON'T STOP.

THINK OF THE MARKS, PEEJI! THINK OF YOUR FUUUUUTUUURE!

I would go into uni tomorrow to escape the lure, but I'd just end up going crazy and reading it in the computer labs. Porn or no! I HAVE NO SHAME!

*closes her LJ tab and goes to find her course-reader*

A never-ending explosion entry! Tirrah!

I feel like I’ve been utterly submersed by life for the last couple of weeks. Like, barely even up for air.

There is FAR too much to say, but, a few things:

1. The smile that lights up Jensen’s face when he mentions Danneel and the half of the audience who were really embarrassed by the whole Danneel-hating is like ‘AHH! HE MENTIONED DANNEEL SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH WE LOVE HER!’ And he’s all... ‘wow, some fans that respect my girlfriend, YES! YES SHE IS AWESOME!’ Is probably the most heart-breaking and awesome thing to emerge from the Asylum con.

2. Star Trek – let me fall completely in love with you and watch you FOUR TIMES in the last month. (To be fair though, only twice involved the cinema, but I feel justified in my shitty cam copy because I SPENT MONEY ON THE CINEMA! TWICE!) Karl Urban, let me be THRILLED that someone as awesome as you is a Kiwi. (As an aside, I saw someone ranting recently about how southern he is (as opposed to somewhere else in America, I think was the context) and I was like, *snigger*, b/c I think his accent is still really kiwi in the movie.) I HOPE THIS PARAGRAPH’S PARENTHESES ARE ALL IN ORDER!

3. Got all my essays and scripts in! I feel completely stoked by my anime pilot! I’m crossing everything capable of crossage that I’m going to get A-variations on my final assignment’s marks. One take-home test due on Monday (three 1000 word essays) and then this semester is OVER and I have a whole two days to go on a tidying binge before mimei arrives on the 18th! Eee! Prepare for extensive silliness!

4. I’m not reading ANY of the big bangs this week. NO! If you hear me doing it, feel free to JAB ME WITH STICKS! I need to slam this final test.

5. I now have approximately 3,000,572.84 plot-bunnies at the moment. @_@ A teeeeny bit more time, but not much! We’ll see if something happens about any of that.

6. I went to see the post-grad Anthropology academic advisor on Friday to talk about Honours and Masters. I felt extremely excited and completely wrung out by the end of it. It left me feeling shaky all weekend, actually. (see more ranting below)

7. MY BROTHER GOT ENGAGED YESTERDAY! (It’s still only-family knows, but I somehow doubt anyone will be alarmed that I told my flist.... XD) I’M REALLY EXCITED! LIKE, SO MASSIVELY EXCITED! Everyone knew it was coming eventually but... WEDDING! WE GET TO HAVE A WEDDING! *jumps up and down and tries not to plan things on behalf of the bride without asking.* >_>;)

( And lots more ranting about post-grad and all the pros and cons that need to be considered... )

Anyway, if anyone want to weigh in on all of that. (tell me what I should doooooo!) you’re more than welcome, I need some input from my friends and compadres about this life-decision!

Meanwhile, more study!

The universe is really fucking me off this weekend, seriously.

I could go into details, but it took me AN HOUR to explain to my Mum on the phone today, and even then I completely skipped one of the massive annoyances.

Suffice to say, uni is being a bitch, (the servers CRASHED on friday, ALL OF THEM,) I'm running out of time to finish things at all/well, one of the classes I NEED for next semester I've missed the deadline for portfolio submission because I was busy with CRAZY HELL-ESSAYS AND RANDOM SURPRISE-ASSIGNMENTS! My parents marriage is still seriously on the rocks, I've been so exhausted for the last two days I could barely MOVE, I have fic spinning around in my head like a whirlwind and have NO TIME to write it, I STILL haven't been able to get in to talk to the post-grad advisor to sort out next semester/year. Oh, and the internet is pissing me off.

I don't need a boohoo brigade or anything I'm just seriously irritated and tired. I've decided to skip class in the morning. Although it seems at the moment I can sleep a million hours every night and I'm still exhausted. >:(

I'm OVER IT! Please let it be the end of semester, soon!?

(I do love that I already have all the tags I might want for this entry...)

EDIT: Meh, I guess I should warn that there is fic in the comments now that has spoilers for 4x22. *sighs and goes to bed*

Only 800 words to go (on essay) got an hour before I depart for Uni to get some final references and print. (Although I can take another hour if I need it). Starting to have stupid stress panic attacks. Went outside and played with the cat. Climbed a tree. Now I feel better.

Forward ho! Celebratory fanfic writing scheduled for tonight! Alright!

(Ooh, and 2009 resolution achieved!)

EDIT: *cries* I didn't get it finished. And now I've spent the whole evening (after a short break) editing and fixing it up. I'm never going to get to wriiiite. ;____;

I'm in the middle of writing an essay and it's driving me INSANE. Because I watched Spn eps 16, 17, and 18 last night with a friend, (which are three of my favourite episodes for the season,) and I was hit really hard with a plot bunny and ALL I WANT TO DO IS WRITE. But I have to write this stupid essay instead.

*cries and flaps*

The essay is due tomorrow, too, so I can't even put it off. *sighs* But, but, Deeeeeeean! Saaaaaam! *clutches them*

Anyway, that's all. Except I know way more about Preimplantation Genetic Diagnosis than I ever thought I would need to. It's almost as bad as when I had to do an essay on goats. o_0

EDIT: *falls over* I just spent like, an hour re-doing my ENTIRE layout (on Dreamwidth). I found the other one too narrow. This one is a liiiittle bit buggy for me, but it's much prettier. Also updated all the links and formatting on my profile page. I think I'm ready for everyone to come over to DW now. *lays out welcome mat*

1. I just watched Billy Elliot. This movie always makes me cry and fills me with OVERWHELMING LOVE AND JOY.

2. Someone really needs to write a Billy Elliot J2 AU where the other boy is Michael (the gay best-friend) and instead of Billy/J being straight he's well... not. Because that would be ADORABLE AND AWESOME. Especially if there were bits while the Billy-J was at school, because of course the sex part at 11 wouldn't really go. And after the heart-break of separating when he left. OH! LOVE!

3. Uni is stressing me out but I only have two more weeks before the pressure is off and I can finally finish some of these fics that are hovering about.

4. My parents, especially my Dad, suck. If fact, pretty much just my Dad sucks. He was 'kidding around' the other day, making a random off-colour joke about lesbians being stoned to death in Muslim countries, (which was, to be fair, just a random fly-away comment at first,) but THEN he got sidetracked and started going ON about how I would only get stoned with rocks half the size of the lesbian's rocks (because I'm only HALF gay, you see?) thinking this was the funniest thing ever.


....... Yes, Dad, telling your daughter about the kind of hate-crime she might be expected to experience if the people around her started judging her based on a different moral code is REALLY FUCKING FUNNY. I think my Mum was kind of horrified.

My Dad is a really un-bigoted Christian, 90% of the time, it's just he's the kind of guy who deals with personal strife my making off-colour jokes, (I do it too, actually). Unfortunately, this is making me feel like I just don't want to talk to him at all until he has grown so used to the Bi thing that he doesn't even think about it. Fuck it's uncomfortable.

Anyway, that just pissed me off and I wanted to write it down so hopefully in about 10 years I can look back on this and laugh.

That is all!

It's 2am. I've actually been doing homework for the last two hours (because I told myself I was allowed to stay up late but only if I used it for homework,) and I just wanted to share how much of a weirdo I have become.

It's been fun doing this film-script writing course this semester partly because the lecturer never talks like our dreams aren't a reality. He's always like, 'when you've finished your script and sent it off to the producers you'll want to do such and such.' And, 'once your script is being made...blah blah blah' Which, I dunno, I've found a slightly odd experience because getting a novel finished to the point where I could send it to publishers has always been SUCH a far away goal, I mean, I've barely made a dent in any of my original works, so it's not something I think about being realised very often.

However, at the moment I'm working on a pilot episode for what I've planned as being an anime series, but could also easily work as a live action series, or even about three movies, depending on how the plot and characters are developed. Anyway, long story short, all this talk of actually getting a script developed made me think about the who/where/when/what/hows of it, and suddenly, (while thinking about Spn, coz I do a lot) I decided that it would be perfect if my show was being developed right as S5 finished, and if I could snag Jensen AND Jared to be in my show. (It's perfect! They could be together! It's an ensemble cast so they don't have to work so hard! They're interesting characters! We could film in LA! Everything they waaaaaant.) And somehow, this idle thought has developed into this whole THING and now I'm basing the characters really strongly around how the boys would portray that sort of character (Jensen's character wears GLASSES, guys!) and now the characters are in LOVE. (well, they will be, ever.)

But... now my heart is REALLY SET ON IT! And it's about 99.999% likely to end in tragedy for my poor, silly heart.

But! But! I just wanted to share my silliness because how AWESOME would that be, eh guys? I could be all sneaky and get them to LEGITIMATELY MAKE OUT ON CAMERA. And they would all think it was just because of their characters. *snorts*

Anyway, other than sharing with everyone JUST HOW ELABORATE my flights of fancy can be, I just wanted to bounce for joy a little because my draft for the pilot is almost done and... seriously now, once this is ready I actually CAN send this pilot away, like, NOW, to potential producers. And that's sort of... insane and scary and exciting. I'm completely in love with this story and even if (due to my inexperience) I don't get taken on as a writer of the full series, I'd love to see this made, because I think it really rocks and has strong selling potential.

That is all, I am still overwhelmed by uni work. My calendar is a solid wall of blocked out work/study/otherstuff for the next two weeks. Sorry for long rambling post. Love love!

Okay so, this morning I spent HOURS looking through arty comms to find some new icons. Hopefully you can see my lovely new Jared, and I managed to find an angry-ish icon, which was my justification for doing this as I always complain about not having one.

THEN mimei distracted me FURTHER by giving me a Dreamwidth code, and, of course, all the technical stuff of setting up a journal ASIDE, I was FORCED to find some functioning CSS for Dreamwidth in case my EYES EXPLODED from the nasty basic version. Which also took ages. All in all, I've managed to NOT get even CLOSE to doing any of the homework, editing OR writing I wanted to do today. As well as having about 4 ideas for new stories, which is just frustrating because there is no time at all for writing.

I had a really shitty week last week and then got a cold, so I didn't get anything done much at all. Two weeks left of semester. @_@ Not a good time for crisis!

Anyway, I have to go get back into it but I just wanted to say, hi, I'm page_r at dreamwidth, I have pretty new icons, and if you see me around the internet in the next two weeks, throw a shoe at my head and tell me to go do my homework. Uni is love. :/

P.S. I'm not 'moving' over to Dreamwidth yet because of still being in beta and all that but definitely going to be going in this direction. Everything will still be crossposted though. Feel free to subscribe, at this point I'm not giving Access to all-and-sundry because I don't flock anything anyway. Hope that's okay!