I feel crap.

crap crap crappity crap crap.

I have lots to do and no time. >:( I have big essay of DOOM. (which isn't actually a doom essay at all, it's a really interesting topic, but it's really important and I have not enough time left to do what I want to do with it).

I really, desperately want to write, but I have so many different projects going that my brain can't handle it and the one thing that I really really should be doing writing-wise is typing out DMT_07 but that's not writing in the creative sense so doesn't fulfil my demanding muse-like-scream in the back of my head and *cries*

I have lots of emails and comments and things I should be catching up on but I just can't make myself do anything much at the moment. I am shocky and strange and disconnected. I know when I get like this I really should write because that straightens me out but my mind is whirling too much.

Maybe I should just give up on doing other things tonight and just write some shorts. Start and finish something.

mmmm, bye sanity, see you in a while.


Edit: Started working on my Spike/Xander fic again. I don't know how, but every time I read the start of this fic I wrote a few months ago (which, upon checking my journal, I seem not to have mentioned before. BY THE WAY, guys, I'm about 2,200 words into a one-shot, longish (maybe around 10,000 words?) S/X fic.) I fall totally in love with it. By some strange flash of random awesome I seem to have got the voices reasonably close-to-canon (probably because I watch buffy waaaay too much) and the fic is hot and interesting. So. working some more on that coz it's the only thing not driving me more crazy at the moment. 600 words in tonight.

Edit edit: As of 1am, the point of, 'Oh gosh stop you have work in the morning!' 1,486 words! Fucking HAXX! That so justifies my writing-fuge. And kind of justifies my lack of essay writing. Kind of.

Right, I'm off to bed and then work for the next two days. Bluhg.

Tryyyying to to an all-nighter.

Had forgotten how much I _like_ sleep.

Understand now why people refer to the bed as 'calling' them - it has had a sub-audible running dialogue in my right ear for the last three hours.

I really, really, really want to be writing right now. Must study.

Want to be writing _original fic_ of all things! Shock Horror! Maybe even HET or GEN! @_@ Can you BELIEVE it!?!?

Still looking for an artist to draw my manga/anime idea. *prods world hopefully*

If I go to sleep right now, I will sleep through class. Specifically (or most importantly anyway,) Japanese Culture. We're doing Buddhism and I don't think I'll pick up enough from just the powerpoint if I miss it. *le sigh* Interesting religion... personally I think they need to discuss the concept of an emotion called, 'joy', but still, it's important to respect and understand people's beliefs, especially if you want to understand _them_. *eyes the bed again*

Fuck it. I fail. (possibly literally!!)

Although I did pass (just!) everything from the end of term, so that's good. Jap-culture exam on Monday was.... interesting... don't think I'll have failed though. Psyc exam this Saturday however.... well, it really doesn't help you to be motivated to study when you're depressed, don't care about the subject, _and_ you don't actually need the credit at all. *sigh*

I'm going to bed.