So, as you may be aware, it's October. For many people on my flist, this may simply mean it's time to think about pumpkin-carving designs and stocking up on that extra layer of merino. For those of us hanging out in the southern hemisphere who just happen to be attending university, it means that the end of the school year is only a few measly weeks away.

Around me right now is a room full of extremely stressed-out post-grads. It's quite a marked difference from the start of the year, when everyone was full of enthusiasm and you only saw a select few of the students. Now, the number of students has swelled by at least another ten, (who the hell ARE all these sociology students? I swear they just keep popping out of the woodwork. Maybe they're breeding...) and the work has changed from a slightly fun attempt at being a 'real' student into this horrific hair-tearing panic as people progressively realise that these deadlines are non-negotiable, and only two weeks away.

I don't have to hand in my thesis until next year, something which I am so profoundly grateful for I have no words. Seriously. I don't think anyone this year is going to be able to make the deadlines without doing a week's worth of all-nighters. I'm still looking at that later this week. I probably would tonight if I didn't have to be at Kung Fu. Fu is pretty much the only thing keeping my stress from exploding out of the top of my head right now. That, and other forms of exercise.


Just to preface my rant, I want to say that I don't have a problem with other people being fat. I don't think fat is bad, I don't think other people who are fat are unattractive. In fact I can think of several people who would be classed as 'overweight' by current standards who are extremely hot. However, I grew up with an overweight mother who always hated her own body and yet was trapped by it, never being able to achieve her desire to be thinner. She could never play with us as children because she was so unfit, and often was laid up with a bad back, bad feet, or bad-something. When I was still pretty young I made a promise to myself I would never get fat, because I didn't want to end up like her. So, hopefully that frames why I am so hard on myself when I am getting into bad habits and putting on weight.


Last week I went to the gym for the first time in… well, pretty much ever. I got a membership at the start of the year and I’d managed to not use it at all. I'm graduating later in the year, (December) and had gone up a size over winter. I had this paranoid image of the photos from my graduation being all fat arms and buldgy tummy and nothing else. Also, I keep thinking about how now I’m leaving Uni and getting pretty serious with the BF, I’ll just become another boring old lady who has nothing interesting to say and who never got back to that pre-children size. So I figure if I don’t set up some good habits now, I probably never will.

So, even though I go to Kung Fu 2-3 times a week, I am now insisting on two gym visits as well. Kung Fu helps my flexibility and my coordination, but it’s not that helpful for cardio or muscle.

On Friday, I ran two and a half k’s on the running-machine! I can't emphasise enough that amazing feeling of success. My boyfriend laughed at me for being so proud, but he just doesn’t get how just DOING that run was like conquering a mountain all by itself. It proved to ME that if I want something enough, I can achieve it. I really think the hardest part is just believing you are capable of such things.

SO, I believe I am capable of being fit. I believe I am capable of being fit, and I believe I will look amazingly sexy in my graduation dress.

What do you need to convince yourself you're capable of this week?


So anyway, two massive assignments, much stress, no money, job application to go and I'm outta here for the year!

To finish, have a picture of the blossom at the bus stop last month!