I am lame lately! Going through one of those phases where I don't have energy for anything and turning off my brain by reading lots of fic so I don't think about anything. No real reason, just tired and busy with work and, as usual, a lame excuse for a human being.

I'm doing an entry tonight so that I can communicate with anyone/thing other than myself that I am WRITING TONIGHT! Yes! THAT. Because if I'm just left alone with the thought I won't do anything at all.

Because it's been so long since I've updated, I have a really out-of-date 'comments for the week' from like, two weeks ago, but I thought I'd post it anyway.



Comments for the week.

1. SEMESTER OVER OH MY FUCKING GOSH YES YES YES! *collapses* This semester has been HORRIBLE. I was more depressed than I’ve ever been since the Unmentionable Year From Hell (also known as 2005) and I didn’t even have a semi-decent reason this time; I was just... completely killed by Uni and the fucked-up place which is my stupid brain. I think I’ve managed to pass two out of the three papers I took this sem, but the one I failed was my first 200-level paper and I feel like I’ve really let myself down by not passing. Anyway, no regrets!

2. I completely re-read Dry My Tears the other day and I was... kinda disappointed, actually. I really have this powerful urge to re-write massive chunks of it. :/ (mimei, I know you are wearing your crown of rightness about never posting WiPs, but shush.) It’s just not quite what I had in mind. Don’t get me wrong, I really LIKE it, it’s just not as brutal, or, I dunno, visceral as I planned on it being, and I’m not sure how to tackle correcting that in the chapters to come without it seeming like Harry is completely schizophrenic or something... (which would be an interesting element, but I think we’ve got the split-personality thing covered in Burn to Shine, just at the moment.)

3. (in relation to 2.) Holidays for the next two weeks! [okay, only one now] My goal is to get the next chapter of DMTs UP and the draft of BtSwhatever at least 70% done. Feel free to nag. I wish I could set up some auto-nag thing where people could press a button and find out my word count, and if they were unimpressed make some really irritating sound-effect go off on my computer or something. Also goal to be a better beta to mimei-senpai. [soooo failing at this....]

4. Speaking of mimei, forgot to say anything about my brief trip to Auckland. Well, it was brief. It was actually really funny, because I was only really away for 24 hours really, so I didn’t even have time to worry about my cat, mimei and I barely had time to watch ANY DBSK stuff, which we were sort-of surprised by, I think. And by the end both of us were going into, ‘haven’t studied for several hours! WARNING, APPROACHING EXAMS!’ mode, so it was good that it was brief, despite the lack of time for medias. (I did get to see most of the couple-talks, which only cemented my assurance of the Jaemin love – although in a slightly different way to how I expected. And also watched some concert performances, in one of which BOTH Yoochun AND Junsu cried and it was ADORABLE.)

5. mimei also gave me three Epik High albums, which I have been listening to every day since I got back and only love them more and more whenever I listen to them. I do kind of feel like they ought to get a permanent female member of the band, since they have so many songs with key female vocals, but I guess that’s up to them.

6. While the Supernatural fandom totally scares me, both there and within RPS, they still deserve awesome status for having something like the bigbang, which is keeping me entertained, along with everyone else, it seems. (people need to rec more, though! I can’t be assed going through them all myself!)

7. This is going to come out sounding totally defensive and childish, but I’ve been wanting to say this for ages so screw it. For all those people who might find it pathetic how much I keep talking to my non-existent commentors, unlike the crazy person who insists on sitting next to you on the bus when all the other seats are empty*, I DO have invisible friends. No! Seriously! This journal has a regular monthly readership of over 200 people according to my stats, and that’s not even including my fics, which go nutso when I update. And, okay, I admit that I would probably still talk on this blog as if the world was watching even if I had NO readers, but I just wanted to assure all my lovely, if infuriating, lurkers, you are not alone! And... and... this journal is so not one of those journals where the writer gets all, ‘who the hell are you?’ if people I don’t know comment randomly, so while, as a terrible lurker myself, I do not command said quiet-folk to speak out, I just want to assure everyone that if you DO feel like randomly interjecting, please feel free. If I wanted privacy, I would f-lock posts, and I think there’s only like, two f-locked post on this entire journal so yeah, ^_^ not so worried about that.

8. Re *: Uh, originally I wrote a big rant justifying why I said that, (because there is a person on my bus who does this) but as I read over it I was like, "Or, Page, you could be a dickhead and talking about mentally disabled people like that is not actually funny, so shut up." So justification rant has been removed. :/

9. FEMINISIM HAS RUINED MY MIND! Seriously! I have always considered myself a feminist, (yeah, because I believe in supporting the rights of women to be treated with respect and without social-bias, BIG SURPRISE!) but the last semester at uni just like, multiplied by feminist-awareness to EXTREMELY HIGH LEVELS. Like, LOTS. And now I... I can’t do ANYTHING! I can’t watch T.V., I can’t listen to the radio, I can’t even TALK to people! I mean, I work in a store which caters to rich farmers. To traditional guys (and their wives) who have a reasonable amount of money to spend. Our designers are trying to get them to be a bit more adventurous in terms of fashion in recent years, but occasionally you get conversations like this:
[Male customer and his wife (both in their 50s) are looking for a jersey for their son, who is ‘very snappily dressed’]
Page: “I don’t know how out-there he is but--” [shows a bright-orange jersey]
Male customer: *physically jumps away from the jersey* “He’s not GAY!”
Page: 0_0 *tries not to scream/hit the customer* “Wow! That’s a bit of a stereotype there, isn’t it...?” *mentally bitches*
So yes, while I like being aware of our social-training to this degree, it has made life more difficult in lots of ways. :/

10. my room is shiny! I have a photo-wall! (this is relevant because I’ve been avoiding decorating from the semi-provable idea that every time I decorate, I end up having to move within the next couple of months.) It’s not finished, which is deliberate, see Peeji Moving Theory


Also, I want to put a big fat list of all the fic I've read in the last week or so because the big-bang is INSANE and has blown my mind.

Not all of these are big-bangs, some are things I stumbled on because of big bang. All Summaries are the authors' unless I've added something in the []s. All fics are NC-17, so no reading them to your babies. Also, I don't watch the show, so I'm not 100% sure which things have actual spoilers for the end of season 3 or are just the authors saying 'well this this probably what happens', so my ability to warn is a bit bung, sorry, but I will try my best where possible/can be bothered. The stars represent the rating system I use:
# = lame
## = enjoyable in some way, but lacking in many ways
##(#) = enjoyable in many ways, but lacking in certain ways
### = Great fic!! (most of my favourites are these)
###(#) = Great fic which has some aspect which is PURE AWESOME (often this section is great fic with some personal kink hitting or something)
#### = As superb as any fic can get. (I only use 5 stars for original fic, just because original fic is that extra step more complex for the author)

Supernatural - Sam/Dean:
You Take It With You - by lazy_daze - ~30,000 words - ###(#) Potential S3 spoilers
Sam saves the world, and he brings Dean back from a month in Hell, but that's when things start to get complicated. Dean's cheated death before, but this time, it's different – Dean's spirit is unable to re-enter his body. Can Sam and Bobby work out how to reunite Dean's body and spirit? And how will Dean cope if they can't? From hunts in the Chicago lakes to visits to the Grand Canyon, with dreams, handjobs and hookers along the way, Sam and Dean ride it out and learn all over again how to live this life and live it together.

Ouroboros - by thenyxie - 60,000~ words - ### No spoilers
In the universe, there are many possibilities, alternate realities, where things happened just a little bit differently. In this one, Dean Winchester is the last Winchester standing. Mom died in the fire, Sammy died in another one later, and Dad died of a heart-attack last year. That's how he finds himself in the company of two hunters on the trail of the biggest threat of all--the Antichrist, aka Sam Harrison, former Stanford student. [Page's comment: Seperated!early boys ftw! This is worth sticking out to the end, too, despite the length.)

This thing of ours - by fleshflutter - 14,336 words. WIP AU - ### No spoilers
The Pilot – if the Winchester family business were organised crime rather than hunting the supernatural.

... okay, at this point I got bored of staring at the teeny letters in Semagic, so I'm temporarily giving up, but I'll finish the recs later, because there are like, over 15. @_@ [Edit:]

In My Brother's Keeping - by poisontaster - ~10,000 words. AUish WIP - ###(#) - No spoilers
[Page's summary: seperated-early!boys. Hooker!Dean. Possibly Evil!Sam.]

Wild Hunt - by veronamay - 5,821 words - ###
The last time he checked, 'Hey, I'm having weird dreams about plants and I kind of want to run into the forest and fuck until my dick falls off, whaddaya say?' is not the best way to get his brother to take him seriously. Sam POV.

When Push Comes To Shove - by topaz119 - ~26,000 words - ##(#) - spoilers through 3x16
They're Winchesters--they're good at making sure that not dealing with things doesn't slow them down, and mostly, just doing the job is enough to let them not think about a lot of stuff. But some jobs are worse than others, and even a little time off isn't going to fix things after you let them go long enough. [Page's summary: Casino fic. Sam and Dean are pissed at each other after Dean saves Sam AGAIN.]

[I've read this several times before, but I did re-read this week so it gets to go on the list:]
Demons Made Me Spill My Guts Like a Girl - by Merrin - 19,810 words - ### - Season 2 spoilers
Don't let the title fool you, it isn't a lighthearted fic. (Also, it wasn't my idea.) Dean gets possessed, mayhem ensues.

Jared/Jensen
The Seahorse - by memphis86 - 36,211 words. mpreg - ###
For spn_j2_bigbang! Everything is going fine for Dr. Jensen Ackles, a successful 3rd-year resident in obstetrics and gynecology at Grace's Heart hospital in San Francisco. But when a 22-year-old art student shows up at claiming he's pregnant, Jensen is completely certain he's crazy. After a bunch of tests, a sonogram and a bizarre story about having invoked the wrath of a ram-headed Egyptian fertility god, it turns out that Jared Padalecki isn't joking: he really did get knocked up! And when Jared insists on having an OB-GYN of his own gender, Jensen's long stretch of successfully not falling for one of his patients is finally at an end. [Page's comment: yes yes, I do have a thing for mpreg, yes yes, I'm a freak, but I just wanted to add that I'm not totally sure how this fic managed to keep me strung along, because Jared pretty much just sits in a bed for the whole thing, but it was sweet and somehow compelling... I think.]

Do I Seem Bulletproof To You? - by fleshflutter - 96,000 words. AU. ###
When he can't find any acting work, Jared takes a job as driver and bodyguard to Jensen, who is an extremely expensive prostitute with a bad habit of attracting crazy people. [Page's comment: Yes, this story is INSANELY long. Is it worth it? Yes. Do I recommend reading it in several sittings? Yes. Will you get about 8/10ths of the way and go, 'man, I still have ages to go, is this going to keep drifting on forever?' Probably. Is there something in those last 2/10ths to make things interesting? Definitely. That is all.]

That's all I have energy for tonight, I will add more maybe-later.