(infer a 'but', but not a contradiction.)


I think I officially started freaking out today. Like, FREAKING OUT. I don't think that it's got to the point where it's noticeable to anyone but me yet, but I am really, really noticing it. It's more of a sense of rising panic than anything identifiable. That and the fact that little tiny things are really starting to bother me. I spent ages online today trying to find Universities that had good Astronomy departments. Unfortunately, all the websites I went to seemed to have a whole lot of information about the Unis, and the faculties and stuff, but they refused to actually give me information about what _papers_ were offered. The reason (partly) I was looking this up was because I discovered the the Astronomy department at Canterbury is LAME. I half think it's an error on the website, but for some BIZARRE reason the 300-level papers (third year, what should, in theory be the hardest and most important year of a Bachelor's degree) are only worth 14 points. You get this in perspective when you know that an average 100-level paper is worth 18 points, and most 300-levels are worth at least 28. *flails* So even if by some miracle I could organise my degree to include the masses of physics and maths papers I'm gonna need to take if I add Astronomy to my degree, I couldn't get a double-degree with Astronomy as my major because I wouldn't have enough points. >8[ I am very annoyed. And sent a very annoyed (but hopefully still polite) email to the head of the Astronomy/Physics department that basically boiled down to, "Is this a mistake, and if it isn't, why do you even bother to offer astronomy if you can't provide the credits to make it viable?" *glares* Thus, anger and annoyance and Uni-searching. Kyoto Uni in Japan seemed to have a good Astronomy department, but there's really no way of knowing without having a look at their paper-list.

Anyway, I'm officially not worrying about this at the moment because it doesn't affect my first year anyway. This just contributed to stress and frustration today.

Also, work is being spastic, everyone is wanting to say goodbye to me at once, I totally forgot to do my washing today so I'm going to have to get up REALLY early to get it done and dry before work again tomorrow. My increasing stress levels mean that I'm not eating enough, (again) RSI is getting in the way of writing. I spilt milo all over the stairs. I jammed my finger in the doors at work, (hurts, but not too bad because of quick use of ice in a milk-jug at work, XD). The T.V. keeps taunting me with the return of Grey's Anatomy, (since CHRISTMAS!) but still refuses to start it. I really need to start packing, which is freaking me out because. Zom. Where to start???? My cat's evil, 'looks like melanoma' absess-thingies on her nose are getting worse, again. I had this strange, excruciating abdominal pain last night. And all in all I'm tired, stressed and freaking the fuck out. I've got three weeks until I leave and I am totally mentally unprepared.

Fuck.

It's the final countdown.


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