03 April 2006 @ 11:41 pm
hmmm. music is good.  
Warning: I am about to rant about something that is rather important to me, but some people may find hurtful, inflamitory, offensive, or a whole variety of other emotions. I don't want to get into a big war about it with anyone, I'm just stating my beliefs on certain issues. I have not tempered my words to be kind to people, or to take in to consideration other peoples feelings on the issue. These are my thoughts, and for the most part represent only me. In 10 years, I would probably write something different, but I'm happy living in the moment for the most part, coz the moment is all I'll ever have. So yeah, read, comment if you like, don't comment if you don't want to, but I'm not here if fight battles, just stating an opinion.

Yeah, so here goes then.


There is idealism, and there is a refusal to be bowed and broken by the cynicism and almost aggressive desire to disprove.

Many people seem to think that hoping, and believing, and taking leaps of love is foolish. But why? Are they afraid of leaving their hearts open to disappointment? They live in this self-constructed world of plastic and metal, as if to place barriers between themselves and the bare truths of the earth, the air, the sky.

If you ask a Christian who truly believes - who has deep faith, why they believe, they most likely won't say, "Because of the scientific formula that says a, b and c." Or, "Because of the philosophies of Thomas Blahdeblah which concisely point to the existence of a higher being." or, "Because history shows that there was a man names Jesus alive around 2040ish years ago and I saw the tomb he was laid in and there are no bones there." or even, "Because the bible proves it." In fact, many won't even say, "Because I saw a miracle." Most people, who deeply believe, even people who only somewhat believe, will not be able to put their finger on a point and say, "I believe in God because of THIS."

I suspect, that the response you are more likely to receive, is more along the lines of that they have a deep, vital knowledge of the existence of God. Not to say that their faith is not based on anything solid. Quite the opposite, their faith _has_ been proved to them, but not by great-grand unnequivocal explosions, but instead by one million moments of compassion; moments of inner peace and serenity; moments of tiny things happening that were beyond their control but far too appropriate to be merely coincidence. Moments of opening a bible, or a book, or listening to music, where you suddenly see or hear the voice of God being spoken through seemingly random words. Moments of healing. Moments when you can see nothing, but you know there is a comforting hand on your shoulder. Moments of surrender, moments of joy, moments of grief and repentance. Moments when you are weeping, on your knees in shame, and are filled by wondrous Grace and love. Moments of roaring. Moments of silence.

Don't speak to me of lack of proof. There is more than enough proof for those with eyes to see. People who would like to live in rusting metal towers may do so, but you cannot look me in the eye and expect me to listen too close to things I don't need to hear, because I, know. I don't 'know' I know.

Point me to a human who doesn't, at the deepest level of their being, long for honest, powerful, connection. To feel they are linked heart to heart, soul to soul, mind to mind. To know that they have been seen, in every particle of their being, every thought, every evil, every hope, every desire, and still are loved. Wholly and completely.

Show someone who hasn't stared at a relative's dead body, and known on some level that that it is merely a shell, that something has fled.

Point at a sunrise, a seascape, a butterfly, an insect, and tell me that wasn't made by an artist-heart.

Give me a reason why all animals can exist in perfect harmony within nature, living and reproducing as they can, but humans needed to evolve to the level they are at?

Explain to me a soul?

Though still it isn't about answering questions, they are merely there to say to guarded gates, that gates can remain shut if they wish, but that doesn't mean the grass won't grow beyond the walls.

People who like to disprove, will say to believers (both Christian and of other faiths) "you are just trying to feel part of something" or, "you are just lonely' or, "you are indoctrinated" or "you're compensating" or "you're trying to find reason for your life" or something else along these lines.

I say - why? If we are primarily the result of evolution, why on earth would we desire any of those things? Why wouldn't we be completely satisfied with the knowledge that yes, the sun does rise every morning, (it always has) and, surprisingly, does set every evening, (it has a good track-record so far). If you get what I mean. If there really was no God, then why would any human being, (let alone multiple separated cultures) long for one?

I'm not compensating, or trying to feel good; yeah, having my faith has allowed me great joy. But there has also been a lot of grind, and a heap of difficult personal development as part of the process, and still will be more to come ^_^;;

I think that our culture has become afraid of faith, belief and idealism because everyone is scared of being hurt, but it is true that you won't find many happy cynics. Where's the point of living you whole life, saying "Pain and destruction are the only reality!!!!" (>_> or something) and then you die? Well shit, if that's anyone's idea of fun, it sure as hell aint mine's.

The essential faith of the Christian has become floundered today by doctrine and sub-rules. Which is sort of ironically amusing because that was the same problem the Jesus came to solve. Many people are turned away from the faith due to conflicting statements, rules, misuse of power, etc. It needs to be remembered by all, that Jesus almost-solely spoke a message of Love. Love God, love other humans. These come before everything, you can throw a thousand rules at me later, but only if they don't contradict those first. But anyway, that's another rant entirely, I just felt like throwing it in.

Song that made me want to rant about this in the first place:

Better Way, by Ben Harper


i'm a living sunset
lightning in my bones
push me to the edge
but my will is stone

i believe in a better way
i believe in a better way

fools will be fools
and wise will be wise
but i will look this world
straight in the eyes

i believe in a better way
i believe in a better way

what good is a man
who won't take a stand
what good is a cynic
with no better plan

i believe in a better way
i believe in a better way

reality is sharp
it cuts at me like a knife
everyone i know
is in the fight of their life

but i believe in a better way
i believe in a better way

take your face out of your hands
and clear your eyes
you have a right to your dreams
and don't be denied

i believe in a better way
i believe in a better way
i believe in a better way
i believe in a better way

--

Because there is idealism; and there is hope, faith, love, and trust.
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Current Music: L'Arc-en-Ciel - Awake
Current Mood: hmmmn
 
 
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[identity profile] mimei.livejournal.com on April 5th, 2006 09:26 am (UTC)
hahaha so christians are worshiping buddha?
i don't think they'd like that idea.

in my experience, people are surprisingly defensive/offensive about their Christian beliefs. strange sorta faith, that. you'd think faith was a given and there were more important things to talk about like real life problems that might actually have soutions rather than circlic pop-logic pre-Nietzschean (say, 18thC CE) personal dilemma, justifications of the abstract concept of faith (just generalising here).

i won't reply to the text...but you should be careful of the presumptions you make about people and their paradigms. in doing so your conclusions and premises become very very shaky.
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[identity profile] mimei.livejournal.com on April 5th, 2006 09:32 am (UTC)
ooo but lyrics! Thursday - Asleep in the Chapel

three chalk outlines sleep in the dirty street and in our beds under the sheets
they're the halo of guilt hanging around your neck next to the rosary you count
falling asleep and we're praying these are the symptoms of letting go of all our hope
since we can't compete with martyred saints we'll douse ourselves in gasoline and hang our bodies
from the lampposts so that our shadows turn into bright lights 'white light, white heat'
we'll make as we're blacking out in the center lane we swerve to the beat spill all the ink
no revisions do you hear the church bells ringing? wake up
wake up in an outline and try to speak with the shattered voice of the lives we lead
have we slept too long between the bullet holes in a stained-glass window state?
and we're praying....
when we repent, and we're praying, we fall on the page
(read, in the margins) we are the symptoms of letting go of all our hope.
someday we'll be complete like modern saints baptize our kids in gasoline and hang our doubts up in
cathedrals so that they turn to faith in the coloured sunlight
'red rain, red rain' we'll make as we're blacking out in the centre lane
do you hear the church bells ringing? they ring for you
we woke up this morning to a sky with no air in it and all the streets were filled with a thousand burning crosses
and what we thought was the sunrise just passing headlights still the choir girls sing 'oh lord, can you save us? save us? oh lord, sing hallelujah'
they are the symptoms of letting go of all our hope we're falling asleep with open eyes
falling asleep inside the chapel falling asleep in chalk outlines falling asleep as the headlights pass us by


Thursday is freakin' lyrical geniusxcore.
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[identity profile] prairie-grass.livejournal.com on April 8th, 2006 08:04 am (UTC)
@_@ Well that's a different end of the scale.

Hahaha! Scale! like music! Hah! (Sorry, I know it's sad, I just can't help it.)

P.S. Sorry I haven't been around for like... a week, I wasn't sulking or having a temper fit, I was busy ;_; I litterally haven't had my computer on since Tuesday. (guests). Miss you! Fixed the endless explaining in ch5! (I hope) Hopefully catch you around sometime soon. :)
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[identity profile] mimei.livejournal.com on April 9th, 2006 12:42 am (UTC)
it's a great song. great album too.

i haven't been on the computer either so it's all good.
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[identity profile] prairie-grass.livejournal.com on April 8th, 2006 07:21 am (UTC)
pleh, the whole different gods thing is such a total mess, from both sides of the line. I don't claim to be able to sort up from down on the issue. But nor do I find it nescessary to answer every question in the universe. Guess I'm just a mindless rabid sheep after all.

Of course people are defensive/offensive about their faith! It something that is deeply and personally essential to their living, but also unprovable, imagine if we didn't have DNA testing and half of society was yelling at you that you were not your parents' children, that you were really the spawn of a cyborg and an alien and you were an idiot for ever thinking otherwise. (okay so, maybe I got a little carried away there...) People get sensitive about these things. Of course, that doesn't excuse their behavior when they then go on a killing rampage, but you get part of where they are coming from.

I don't see why faith isn't an important thing to talk about. and, I told you that I've never read philosophy on the issue, and I've also told you I didn't think that was the point. At least I'm trying to think for myself rather than just pointing and saying, "the church told me so."

Fair enough, generalisations are very rarely helpful. This was never supposed to be an attack on anyone else, just me putting a few of my ponderings on to 'paper' as such.
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[identity profile] mimei.livejournal.com on April 9th, 2006 12:41 am (UTC)
Of course people are defensive/offensive about their faith! well by definition faith isn't something you should be defensive or offensive about. and well no i don't really understand we're they're coming from, despite them claiming it's a place of peace and love etc.

i think you're thinking what the church tells you to. that's the hypothesis your not having considered things like philosophy supports. i don't like philosophy, but you can't have a balanced opinion of something without thoughtful consideration. i mean, i might not go on about it, but i was a christian kid once, i know how powerful and slippery those influences are.

but like i said, i think there are more important things to talk about.
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[identity profile] prairie-grass.livejournal.com on April 9th, 2006 09:51 am (UTC)
I guess we're just gonna have to agree to disagree on this one. :)
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[identity profile] mimei.livejournal.com on April 9th, 2006 10:25 am (UTC)
Why would that be? And by "agree to disagree" do you mean I just have to put up with you ranting on about this sort of stuff with no right to say anything in response?
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[identity profile] prairie-grass.livejournal.com on April 9th, 2006 11:38 am (UTC)
No. It doesn't, what it means is that we both know that we have differing opinions on the matter that we are both fairly passionate about so to avoid repetitive, hurtful arguments, we can hopefully just agree that we have differing opinions and leave it at that.

I put that warning at the start because I knew that you would get annoyed/argumentative about this issue, and I didn't want you to have to 'put up with it' if you didn't want to. This entry was not for your benefit, and if I didn't believe that I have the right to state my opinion within my own journal, then I would private-lock it so it did not offend you so.

I hope that within our friendship and conversation, I have the right to occasionally mention things relating to my day to day life that may include Christian aspects. Just as you often speak of things I don't agree with, but I don't go on the offensive about them because it's your right to believe them. I do try to avoid bringing up stuff you will find too inflammatory within conversation, but this journal is different.

If I didn’t make it clear on another occasion, I apologise, and I will say it clearly now: I do not deal well with confrontation. It’s not that I don’t want to have a debate with you about certain issues, it’s that I can’t. I almost always take everything in a debate too seriously, and personally. What for you may be a clever remark that neatly defeats my argument, for me is seriously hurtful. That is why I don’t want to talk to you about this, because I don’t want to jeopardise our friendship over this issue. I hope that that’s clear enough now. You may find that frustrating, but you’re either going to have to compromise in your reactions towards me on the issue, or not. That’s completely up to you, but I hope that I’ve pointed out what kind of reaction that will get out of me.

Please don’t accuse me of using emotions to get around an argument either; I am just trying to be truly honest about it. I don’t want to win, I am no Thomas Aquinas - I don’t think I can win against you with my current knowledge. Also we are approaching the argument in completely different ways that don’t really make sense to the other, so it’s like the mute speaking to the deaf.

I hope that you can see where I am coming from now.

-Page
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[identity profile] mimei.livejournal.com on April 9th, 2006 12:06 pm (UTC)
Oh, so basically I'm not allowed to say anything on the issue (or any potentially controversial issure)?

Because nothing I've said here has been offensive, defensive or argumentative. In fact, I've carefully reworded comments and deleted whole sentences in order not to offend you. If you notice, my first comment is incredibly innocuous. I specifically said "i won't reply to the text". I did everything I possibly COULD not to offend you.

You act like I'm endangering your personal freedom of expression. I'm not. Then you demonise me because apparently you can't deal with confrontation (honestly, you're a confrontational personality so this might take a while for me to reconcile). If you can't stand argument then why write inflammatory things??? It's like someone saying "this isn't hate speech because it isn't hate speech so fuck off and let me hate speak in peace motherfucker".

The thing is, I left a bloody harmless comment, NOT the sort of comment I WANTED to leave, but a token 'you haven't updated in a while and this is all i have to comment on and although it might piss me the fuck off i know i'm just a cynical bastard who's read to many books on existentialism so i'll post the most harmless comment i can' comment. So I'm sorry if I offend you, but you have to realise I was being as unconfrontational as possible, while you jumped on the defensive and started to explain yourself - which wasn't necessary and was in itself confrontational.

I hope you understand I'm not being confrontational in saying this. I'm still trying to be the least confrontational I can. Maybe I literally can't be completely innocuous but I sure as hell try.
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[identity profile] prairie-grass.livejournal.com on April 10th, 2006 11:49 pm (UTC)
Okay, that's fair enough, I get where you are coming from. I guess we're both just far too involved in the issue to be removed from it. I possibly shouldn't have written this here, as it is, as you say, rather inflammatory to some people. I didn't want it to be like that, I just wanted to think out loud about some things. I guess that might have been inappropriate in such a public forum, I don't know.

I suspect that part of my problem is that I am overly sensitive to your response; seeing as you are one of my closest friends, you opinion matters greatly to me, but I already knew that we couldn't reconcile our opinions on the matter. I am sorry if I jumped down your throat about it.

:/ I'm officially over this now. ;_; I hate being grumpy.

Hope you are well, hope you can forgive me for anything I've said that was out of line.
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[identity profile] mimei.livejournal.com on April 11th, 2006 06:54 am (UTC)
oh wells it's not a big deal *hugs* don't beat yourself up over it, i'm just being argumentative/not. >.>
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