27 February 2006 @ 01:38 am
Sometimes you just can't help it...  
That became huge... So:

Stuff for today - applying for a billion jobs tomorrow, got Ch3 back from beta'ing, much editing to work on. Ch2 is edited and sent off for re-betaing but that may be a little while coz my lovely mimei has her first week of Second year Uni this week, so she must prioritise that.

I suppose I'll start on Ch4 soon >_> I don't really feel like it right now though, Ch4 is gonna be pretty intense, with lots of evil monologues... *sigh*

Still haven't started on my skirt, coz, well, saturday was 6 hours of singing and learning new music at church for the music teams, and today (still sunday in my head) was me resting all day and hoping I wasn't going to suffer from a swelling brain and have a stroke. (I smacked my head really hard on a raised speaker while helping to set up some drums yesterday, it DAMN HURT but today I've had a nasty headache so I've decided I had a concusion and I was going to die a painful death.) I'll probably (hopefully) start the skirt tomorrow.

My Dad, without my permission, booked me into a weird seminar on being a bum at WINZ (It's like the welfare people. (for USAers)) that you have to take before going on the Dole. He said that since it's taking me so long to get a job I might as well be receiving some money from the government while I wait. Personally I hate the idea of taking money from the government coz I can't get a job, I see that as a sign of failure. (As apposed to taking money from the government for being a student, which I see as my right.) My emotions on my father arbitrarily making this move are mixed.
1. How DARE he do that without even ASKING me!? What a fucking AWFUL thing to do, as if he is TRYING to make me feel like a 4year-old! This move is so.... Lucius MALFOY of him! So fucking SLYTHERIN! ARG! I want to SHOOT him! With plastic toothpicks! Millions of tiny tiny toothpicks!
2. Money is good, his reasoning behind getting the dole is sound. And I know myself well enough to know that I wouldn't have done anything about it on my own steam.

Thus, I have yet to have a screaming match at him.

So yeah, that's on Tuesday. Wednesday I'm helping out at the church with reception again.

OKAY! SO! The real reason why I started this post!

Another non-poem, by me:




When I think about, all the things I have to do in life, it scares me.

So I don’t think, I practice forgetfulness.

Then, at 3:27am, they run, crouch, and LEAP—

CATCH! Caught you in a trap!

Too late, too slow, too lazy, too damn stupid to see,

Should have, would have, could have, don’t mean shit when you’re staring at the finish line with no strength left,

Can’t make those final steps.

Got nothing left,

And it’s too late. Didn’t, wouldn’t, couldn’t.

So what’s you’re great plan now? Lost your chance. Too damn busy; too damn scared to throw yourself in, with all your passion, all of your fury.

Now it’s too late, sun is setting, stands are empty - you’re grey and wrinkled, facing a pale, sad-smiling dusk,

Where was your great adventure? Your dream? Your life?


What are you doing in the next 10 seconds?


-

Yeah, coz like, brains...
Tags: ,
 
 
Current Music: Too late - by some dead chick, whose name I can't remember.
Current Mood: blah
 
 
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[identity profile] mimei.livejournal.com on February 27th, 2006 07:04 am (UTC)
fucked-up tired commentage...
OK.

1. I like the poem but am too tired to comment further, not that that's necessary


2. I think (unless you honestly would never have done it yourself) your father is being both greedy and pretentious. Fuck. SOMEONE may as well be getting money, so I don't mind if my taxes pay for you to laze around, write and do way too much church-related music (I'm cynical, oh yes, oh yes) BUT if you are ETHICALLY opposed to it THEN IS IT REALLY WORTH COMPROMISING YOUR STANDARDS FOR A FEW 100 DOLLARS A WEEK?

yes we're all hypocrits, oh yes, but you have to stand for something, don't you.

is it you, or your father who wants the money?

i'm being opinionated (bad second-half of the day), but coming from a single-parent family who lived in fucking poverty for most of my childhood as my mum tried to juggle raising three kids with law school and never got more than a student allowance and a scholarship or two. i suppose it would make more sense to me if you weren't living at home. just, whatever *gives up* like I said, I don't mind my tax paying for you (then again, how many times have i loudly proclaimed that i would fully support my tax going to FUNDING UNIVERSITIES ENTIRELY so we could kill student debt??!?! "Fuck Roads, Fund Education" oh yes, they'd love that)

anyway, I bet your father thinks I'm a terrible influence, and I'm sure you'll do whatever you'll do but hey have fun learning how to be on the dole, you must report back on it in a satirical fashion!

*angsts in corner to herself* *headdesk*

(i'm sorry if this was offensive.)
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[identity profile] prairie-grass.livejournal.com on February 27th, 2006 09:51 am (UTC)
Re: fucked-up tired commentage...
I love you.
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[identity profile] mimei.livejournal.com on February 27th, 2006 09:53 am (UTC)
That's strangely comforting :) ♥
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