ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhg, sooooooooooo tired, I have been, folding stuff, and stapling stuff, for hours on end for the last 2 days. @_@ And phone-answering, but that's fun.

anyway, this entry is just to say:
( writing stuff )

Other stuff:

I'm learning to sew! I was getting all bitchy coz my only hobbies are reading, writing, music, and T.V. and most of those are kinda work. Between, writing and music at church, I feel like I have nothing to do if I need space from those things. Thus! I wondered if I could learn to sew, gives me something to do, at the same time as the end result being I have more clothes, which is ALWAYS good.

So yeah, the first step is trying not o completely destroy anything. -_- We'll see how I go.

Still don't have a (paying) job. *grrs* Found out that the job market is totally chocca here, no real point in applying for anything coz I wont get it. :( Or so everyone says. Makes me wonder if I should just go back to chch. :( Not that I can afford it. :(

yeah, bums, but at least I got a chapter done! yay!

Yo dudes!

Right, so, here is chapter one, all purdy-like.

Find the Prologue here.

( Excessively long (but slightly edited) Story summary/warnings/general author notes. )

 

( Chapter One - A Light Untainted )

 

Right so, finally getting around to putting these up. Chapter 2 is still being edited and Ch3 is on its way. For the record, I think this will be around 20(?) chapters. But for now: voila!

(sorry about the excessive author-notes, they just kept growing!)


Quick Summary: Harry Potter is the wizarding world's hero. But when Voldemort discovers a dark magic that could turn his greatest threat into a valuable asset, will Harry be able to hold onto who he is, or submit to the shadows within? (Creature feature ...eventually)

Set in 7th year, but follows canon only till the end of Goblet of Fire.

Title is a song by Ben Harper

Pairings: Harry/Draco, Sirius/Remus, Hermione/Ron. Implied Voldemort/Draco, Voldemort/Death Eaters

Warnings:

-Spoilers for books (and movies, I guess), 1-4 with occasional 5-6 spoilers for largely irrelevant things like character names and monsters and things. Not plot-related stuff. (I think/hope).

-Rated R-18 (for later chapters) Also known as NC-17 (for Americans.)

-This story contains - obligatory capitals: SLASH! Also known as YAOI, also known as males having sweaty sex with OTHER MALES. If you don't want to read that kind of stuff, don't read the fic, don't complain to me if you do and it grosses you out, that's just silly on your part. There are also issues of non-consensual sex. Run while you still can.

Other warning - This fic is written by an amateur writer (me). I'm getting better but please be patient with my lack of experience, it is beta'd by the lovely mimei, but I am often stubborn, so any remaining mistakes are completely on my head. Also, any canon inconsistencies that aren't deliberate, I apologise for, I have a bad memory for some things. If you think I've missed something, just point it out in a comment or email. And I also apologise for any characters being OOC, I have tried hard to give reasons for any personality deviations from the canon, but I'm sure I'll fail at keeping them all in line, so sorry.

Comments and constructive criticism welcome, (but don't go overboard ppl, I have beta's for that.) Now, (finally) on with the show!


( Burn To Shine - Prologue - A Darkness Spawning )

Editing! Editing that NEVAR ENDS!

( This entry is both unnecessary and all about writing, so if you don't wish to read those catergories, then don't look here... or really, at my journal at all... ... )_) (_( )


Oh, and I'm going to put up chapter 1 and the prologue soon. I was stalling coz I couldn't decide whether I wanted to friends lock, or what. But I think I'll just put them up openly, coz it's not as though I need to hide them(?), and they arent even rated high yet, so who cares.

::watch this space:: or something like that. :D

Right so, I'm not really here, coz I'm having a 'ignore humanity' day, (or lifetime, take your pick), but I just thought in case anyone is interested: I am going to post the first few chapters of my Harry Potter fic on this journal. Apparently Restricted Section doesn't post it unless it comes under the category of NC-17(R-18) and since I've only done the first chapter which is still G-rated at that point, they won't post it until it gets into the chapters that come into that rating. Which annoyed me at first, but I get why they do it so I can't complain, I'm just irritated coz I'm not up to those chapters yet! And now I have to format it for LJ and shit like that. *le sigh*

I'm not doing it right now, I'm too busy being depressed or some other vague maudlin emotion like that, I'm just letting y'all know.

HAR!

What has been happening in the last few weeks of Page's life? Well:


Applied for jobs.
Had many arguments about money with my Dad
Thought about getting into politics simply coz this country pisses me of so much, but realised that I'm really pissed off with humanity, and that's not likely to change after 5000 years of trying. Somehow. Damn.
Read a bit
Managed to damage my wrist from reading too many scanlations (rapid manual mouse-scrolling for several hours is baaaaad).
Have not excersized half as much as I should.
Slept badly, lots. (Had a dream that I had been given a pet baby kangaroo, was frantically trying to take care of it.)
Stuff like that.
and:

( Writing stuff )

*Yawn* Anyway, I really should go to bed, as after spending today doing practically _nothing_ all day, I should probably be proactive tomorrow. Clean stuff. Send out my C.V to a few more people, edit, excersize... stuff like that. Darn it's weird having no job and no study... It's like... what the hell do I do with all these _hours_ in my day?? And, before anyone suggests anything like: Maybe that study you still have to do, Page? Those assignments that are over 5000 words each? Uh, maybe those? Or maybe the shitloads of stuff around the house you could do to help out your mother? What about that? - I would just like to say.... hey, it's the holidays!? Right?? (_( )_) (_(

sore wrist - can't talk for long, but:

Sent prologue and chapter one of fic to Restrictedsection.org they haven't processed it yet tho, make take a while, their submission form is down so they have to do it by hand. (as such) Many uber-thanks to mimei who beta'd it since my other beta up and got married and I wanted to leave her to her matrimonial bliss for a bit.

Almost finished Chapter two, despite EVIL SC3N3 OV D000000MZ0R which had to be re-written 3 times. *gnash*

plus, just coz I felt like it:

Time log of Page's brain for today (all times are pm):

3:20 RAR! I have the power!

4:12 Scaaaaaaary

4:53 Woot woot

5:23 arg

7:54 mmmmmmn

9:07 0o0o0o0o0 *points* look! Moon! (rar!)

10:39 AHHH! *screams and runs away*

10:42 It’s tooooooooo hooooooot!

10:47 owwie.


So there you go.

Right so, what's going on.... Uhhhh

Well, I have a computer again *cheers* Which means that I can start writing again! I have finished the first run-through of Chapter Two of the HPff, AND I have completely tidied up chapter one, so once my beta has read through it (she had done it, but then her computer died) that and the prologue will be ready for online publishing YAYAYAYAY!!!! (I is vuuuury excited)

If anyone asks, since this seems to be a conversation starter for ALL OF HUMANITY at the moment... NO I have NOT seen King Kong yet, NOR have I seen Narnia. I'll get around to seeing Narnia sometime soon, however, unless there is some great social mission to go see it by friends (hopefully including _them_ paying for it) I will probably NOT being seeing King Kong at the movies. I'll watch it when it comes out on DVD. I know I know, this makes me a traitor to all New Zealanders, but, it's not really about Peter Jackson, (who I think ROCKS) or about the NZ film industry, I just can't be assed going to see a movie about a giant Gorrilla when I know it ends badly. I don't like apes, (yes, I know, I've just spent half a year working with heaps of kinds of primates, shut up), I have no grat interest in the movie. This is NOT helped by the excessive amounts of publisising that is going on, this is making me annoyed and feeling less like watching it.

So blih!

Uh yeah, nothing much else going on, trying to make christmas prezzies at low-cost, trying to keep a vague hold on sanity, trying to stop my parents computer from being too LAAAAME. Other than that, nothing much else...

Oh, bought a dress for the wedding in Jan, it's all purdy and black and swishy. Be a pain to wash though, but hey, can't have everything.

Misson! For me!

I have been away for ages, *apologises to all* I had my final exam for the year on Friday. It went .... okay... After talking to the other people doing the course in my city, it sounds like we all had a fairly similar experience, so I'm reasonably confident that I passed, but at the time it was just naaaaasty.

But, over and done with now, so SUPER DUPER!

I now have packing and organising of flights to do, plus two more days of work at the zoo, but that shouldn't be a major hardship.... Other than the fact that all my lovely friends want to say goodbye to me before I leave, so I only actually have Saturday to do anything....

But yeah, all is well!

Other stuff:

Went to see Serenity on Friday night. *drooooooools* Man... it was kinda random as I've never seen Firefly, (I don't think it ever played here?), but it really didn't matter, I loved it sooooo much. I'm gonna go see it again. And again. And possibly again. Then I'll buy it. *grins* Brilliant.

Fic stuff: Coming along. Chapter one is going to take a little longer than I thought it would to edit, so the end-of-october dealine has obviously been blown completely out of the water. My Beta is very busy with work, and is also getting married in January, so doesn't have much time to spare, whcih is poopy, but it is coming. Have no fear. Chapter two is being slightly bitchy, (but I think I'm probably just thinking too much again), but I think I have the latest problem solved, and I hope to have a few odd spare moments to spend on it this week. rar.

As for the miSHON which started this post, (a great many hours ago, before I got distracted by movies), I now am going to attempt to reply to all the posts I've missed in the last little while. If I do not return alive, think well of me.


out.

--

Okay well. Exam. Done.


Hoooooooooooly fuck. That was insane. With the study, and the brains, and the stress, and the crazy-town-funky-place.

*dies*

I am SO glad that's over. Think I will have passed okay. *relieeeeeeef*

*dies again*

( HP Fic stuff )

Anyway, it's got really late, but, well, I had a relief nap after the exam, so I haven't been tired, hopefully I'll still get through work okay Fri and Sat. Bleh. So much to dooooo. (though less now coz exam of DOOOOOOM is over! YAY!)

I'm out!


--

BLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!



There is no TIIIIIME!


I'm sitting here, it's 1:46am, I am giving myself tension cramps. I'm serious! I am so going to have ulcers by the time I'm 35. I am _trying_ to write, (fiction), read, (fiction), and write (communication) all at the same time, knowing that I really should be in bed so that I can study heaps tomorrow, but I just can't bear to leave!

guh.

On a positive note, I've got inspiration chewing my toes off, (at least procrastination has a _few_ upsides!) And thus a new fic has been inspired, this in turn has caused me to have heaps on fun writing a semi internal monologue for Harry P., which has been more fun than I thought it ever could be. Woot for me.

Oh, random: Bought Spirited Away. Damn, that movie always makes me feel sooooo........... swish. Encouraged brother to buy Batman Begins so that I could watch it. (so self-sacrificing!)

rar.


-

JUST incase, anyone is getting the wrong impression by my lack of good manners:

No, I am not being rude, I am just rarely online at the moment (I go through these phases at times) I have a huge amount of crap to do in the next two weeks, so probably will not be around any _more_ than I have been until I am back home. I am making an attempt to keep up with things, but please understand that this is difficult at this time.

This isn't really pointed at anyone in particular, just a general note to absolve me of any potential guilt!

( Harry Potter Fanfic stuff )


-

ARG!

I am too busy!

I am always too busy!

I need a job!

ARG!

Okay well, the moon is mostly out of Pisces (thank goodness!) However, I have 24 days of my course left, 6 of which I'm working at the park, and only 10 of which I have to prepare for my Exam which I haven't studied for AT ALL!!!!! Wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooot! (I can only react like this, else I will lost my mind).

I didn't get that other assignment done in time, I don't really care, except I fear this will mean that that subject gets a big FAT FAIL stuck on it, but I'm not sure. (The marking system is really weird).


On a COMPLETELY unrelated note! :

( See me whine )


--

Nothing particularly interesting is happening in my life, other than the usual of: far too much to do, very little time to do it in. I have 4 weeks left of my course, with two nice exmas stuck in the mess there. Goodness knows what will happen after all that.

"the moon is in Pisces" Phrase concocted this week by the lady I'm boarding with, she says it when everything is mysteriously going wrong for no good reason. You dropped a dish & it broke, you forgot to take something important to work, you had a spaz at someone for no good reason, you burnt dinner, etc, all in the space of a reasonably short time = the moon is in Pisces. My moon has been in Pisces allllllllll week, infact, it's almost been like that for a month. I have been sooooo grumpy, and forgetful, and anti-social and occasionally depressed for the last little while that it's starting to bother me, someone said it was probably stress, but I can't deal with all this shittyness, I have become, like, the LochnessShe-Monster! Blaaaahg.

( Harry Potter Fanfic stuff )

--

Life is going along, as it does, back in CHCH now, got stuff due Thursday night which is going to be interesting, plus work Friday for the first time in 3 weeks, I'll probably be as weak as hell and slow to the boot, yay for holidays, huh?

Because I'm likely to be ranting about this a lot over the next few weeks, and anyone not interested might not want to know, I'm going to put cuts in for the Fanfic rambilings, also beacause I can, and hey, code is fun, (unless you're mimei, and are going insane from studying too hard).


( Harry Potter fanfic rantage )


--

Just a really fast note because I should be studying:

I am the coolest person in the universe - last night I was going to bed and I thought I would just jot down a couple of the main sentances of a scene I had written in my head, so as not to forget it.

2 hours later - six and a half pages of writing (hand, it works out to about half that typed.) WooT! KRM yelled at me (appropriately) because it was mid-fic so no-see yet for anyone, BUT! I still rock. Maybe I'll get more of chapter one done while I'm here after all...

Also, officially the funniest quote I have read in frigging ages:

"So, once you have people reading Harry Potter slashfic, the terrorists have already won." mhalachaiswords

Let us destroy capitilism with the power of Fanfiction!!!

Sorry if that doesn't make sense out of context, but I can't be bothered liking where it came from right now, as I said, late late, must do homework! I may update more later.

Well, I actually _have_ got some writing done this week, as apposed to all the other weeks when I _say_ I'll write heaps, but actually don't.

Unfortunately, the writing that I did was all mid-fic so cannot be posted yet.

AHH! I'm not trying to torment anyone honnest!! I really want to get chapter one posted as well! But this scene was just so pretty that I had to write it least I forget. SO! to make up for my bad behaviour, I shall spend ALL DAY today working on chapter one.

Actually, I am really just trying to come up with excuses not to study today, because the sun is out and it is Saturday, and I just can't bear working, so I shall be happy and write instead.

lalala

TWO PAGES! I rock. Seriously, for all other writers who write like, 50 pages a day, two pages is nothing, but as for the last... ever... I have struggled with letting loose enough to write more than a few sentances without having a panic attack about it being good enough and deleting every last word - so two pages is practically a miracle!

I really am having to work at the concept of 'letting go' and just writing, I am finding it really hard because I worry too much about other people liking my work. But it gets to the point where I no longer enjoy writing it because I am freaking out so much. So, the Harry Potter fic and Comic1 (AGF), are just going to be me stretching my wings, they aren't going to be perfect, they aren't going to flow like a gentle creek, rolling from one stone to the next, they are just going to be me letting a little bit of my brain and heart out onto the page. (Or computer screen).

So, bah!

P.S. Really starting to enjoy the HP fic, reeeeeally, with useless amount of random information that is already spawning into a side fic. megckleg! I am crazy and loving it!

Hey all, I'm not back, I am moved, but semi-without-internet, I can use someone else's computer, but the sleezy Fanfiction will have top wait for a while. Also I am majorly behind on my assignments due to moving, and thus I can't spend hours online anyway. I just wanted everyone to know I AM alive, if only half heartedly.

KRM - if you read this, I may be able to use MSN in a while, but as I have assignments, I won't be back there either for a bit. *hugs* though.

I just needed to say however:

HARRY POTTER IS THE KING OF THE UNIVERSE!

I won't say much more, because I don't want to spoil it for anyone, but Half Blood Prince ROCKED! It was vury sad in parts, and JKR threw ALL the rules out with this one. NO ONE should let anyone under the age of 12/13ish read this unless they want that kid to have nightmares!It was great, amazingly well written. It was awesome. No Neville kicking ass, but another thing I had anticipated for ages did happen, but I shall say no more!

WHOOOOO!

I think perhaps, I need to find some wood to chop...

Or perhaps go for a very long walk....

A very, very, long walk. It’s not that I have so much energy, it’s just, when I was at work Friday, I was shovelling sawdust into this huge trailer, (had to re-bed the Rhino sleeping area), and I was there for like, half an hour at least, just, shovelling, shovelling, shovelling. And you know? It felt really good to just let it all out and shovel. Like in the stories where people who are pissed off go outside and chop wood to get out their anger. (Actually, sad as I am I wrote a whole scene in my head for my Harry Potter fanfic centred on chopping wood because of it.) So I think I’ve been being still too much lately; I’m in total stress overload, my brain is just sitting there going “Warning! Warning! Complete involuntary shut down imminent! Warning! Warning! Evasive Manoeuvres! Warning! Warning!”

So yes. Walking is good. Or maybe dancing, but I have to get my flatmate out of the house for that. *sigh*

In other news, I’ve been drawing like crazy this week, I still suck, but little by little the suckage is lessening.

Also much writeage. Just randomly decided to stop procrastinating and actually *start* the Harry Potter Fic Of Doom. Which seriously, I’ve been writing in my head since... when.. the 4th book came out? Now with book 6 closing in I wanted to get started before any of my ideas are ruined. I actually think I will set it after Goblet of Fire, ignoring events of Order of the Phoenix anyway.

In would just like to say though, before book six comes out, If Neville turns out to be a really good wizard once he has his own wand and not his Dad’s one, I THOUGHT OF IT FIRST! Just so it’s on the record. :P

This doesn’t mean progress on A Grey Future is slowing down, I am working on that with equal fervour, I just am in such an arty mood at the moment it’s overflowing everywhere. At least stress overloads have some use.


Okay, I better go and draw up a calendar for the next 3 months, don’t want to get behind on schoolwork because of arty joy.