prairie_grass | Fuck fuck fuck fuck

Current Mood: apathetic

Entry tags:

Fuck fuck fuck fuck

Tryyyying to to an all-nighter.

Had forgotten how much I _like_ sleep.

Understand now why people refer to the bed as 'calling' them - it has had a sub-audible running dialogue in my right ear for the last three hours.

I really, really, really want to be writing right now. Must study.

Want to be writing _original fic_ of all things! Shock Horror! Maybe even HET or GEN! @_@ Can you BELIEVE it!?!?

Still looking for an artist to draw my manga/anime idea. *prods world hopefully*

If I go to sleep right now, I will sleep through class. Specifically (or most importantly anyway,) Japanese Culture. We're doing Buddhism and I don't think I'll pick up enough from just the powerpoint if I miss it. *le sigh* Interesting religion... personally I think they need to discuss the concept of an emotion called, 'joy', but still, it's important to respect and understand people's beliefs, especially if you want to understand _them_. *eyes the bed again*

Fuck it. I fail. (possibly literally!!)

Although I did pass (just!) everything from the end of term, so that's good. Jap-culture exam on Monday was.... interesting... don't think I'll have failed though. Psyc exam this Saturday however.... well, it really doesn't help you to be motivated to study when you're depressed, don't care about the subject, _and_ you don't actually need the credit at all. *sigh*

I'm going to bed.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Good on you for sleeping. Before all else, take care of yourself.

-Richard

P.S. I caught Mike switching stuff on the power-board. He turned off your room again.

Yes, because mental breakdowns are never fun.

Guh. That is all.

joy? why? isn't compassion good enough?

i hope your all-nighter went okay *shudders at the thought* D:

are your flatmates stalking your journal now?

Because (I mean, my understanding of the religion is still insanely vague so I don't really know but,) they talk about how the whole world is in a state of suffering caused by our attachments to things/people. Personally I get great joy from my attachments to friends/family and even nature/animals etc, so I don't perceive them as being simply a cause of suffering. If escaping from suffering means leaving behind the things that give me joy, well, I just don't see the point because then what are you anyway? I don't know, it's probably more complex than that but that's my reaction.

Hah, not really, I went to bed and decided today to just give up on psyc coz it's so boooooring.

uuuh, yeah. >_>

life is dukkha (suffering), not just our attachments. the point is enlightenment... joy is simply an illusion, it's just a feeling, as alike to the inverse of anger. the goal is to end dukkha by not being reborn (which is to say achieve enlightenment, nibbana) because being reborn is just dukkha->dukkha->dukkha. but if you want to take it out of the religious context, as a way of living you achieve greeter wellbeing (it is not joy, joy doesn't really exist, it is better than joy - joy is just a short burst of adrenalin, emotion, not a lasting sense of ease/content, to believe in joy is...*shrugs*) through kind acts. this is far more beneficial than short-lived joy you can gain from cruelty in speech or thought because you are acting purely. of course, this is not exactly what japanese buddhism says today, it has lots of weird quirks that aren't buddhist in origin (like heaven or hell)...

yeah psych's pretty easy to give up on.

...that sucks.

But that's totally dependent on how you view joy. I mean, I get it, I just don't view life that way. Joy for me is a long-lasting deep sense of emotion. It is not 'happiness' which is a brief state, but something that can be experienced even while suffering or being in pain. (Like, the joy of having known someone even through now they are dead.) If you say joy doesn't exist even though it is something you can experience is like saying _we_ don't exist (which I realise is part of it) but if I don't exist then how am I experiencing something anyway? Anyway, of all possible beliefs Buddhism is hardly awful, I just can't personally agree with it's fundamentals. I really am enjoying finding out all about how all the different Japanese religions/beliefs mush together though. It's really fascinating.

:/ I guess. It just wasn't interesting enough or something *shrugs*

mmmn.

unfortunately you can't just redefine joy (or buddhism) to suit you, even if it has acquired a different meaning to you. especially not in a religious context.

existence has noooothing to do with it lol. of course we exist. the point is to surpass existence because.
but if I don't exist then how am I experiencing something anyway?
eh? you exist. the whole point is that life = dukkha(suffering). it can't = dukkha if you're emotionally void. and it doesn't mean that life ONLY = dukkha. doesn't say that anywhere. i don't know what fundamentals you're talking about lol.

well psych's a lot of work. that's why i couldn't be stuffed. competitive and booooring and uses stats. ewwwww. stats.

Yeah but that's what I mean, I obviously have some personal perceptions of life that are innately different to how their religion is set up which makes it impossible for me to see how I could personally ever proscribe to those sets of beliefs. That's fine, I can see the logic of it, it's just different to how I see the world. *shrugs* Whenever I am introduced to another religion I always try and think, 'would that work for me/in my way of thinking?' and I guess the answer for me on this one is no. I was just surprised because I was expecting to personally agree with it more.

Yeah, similar train of thought here. (Stats is evil.) It wasn't that I was incapable of following or comprehending, or even that it was uninteresting, I just didn't _care_. Oh well, that's why I'm here, to try things out and see what works.

^ er, no. that's like saying "A is not A because X is true" (when the argument is B follows A to C) or "B is not B because I will not consider B at all, but A is A so B is ttly unimportant to me".
I can see the logic of it
^ how? n/o but i can't see you seeing the logic in the usual sense of the word.

still, i suppose it's a relief for you to disagree so adamantly with a religion. a tad insulting to me but.

anyway, moving on.

stats is eveeeel. i found it pretty damn uninteresting. psych is common sense...boooooooooorrrrrrring.

No, it's not. It's like if I said, "The sky is red" because when I looked at the sky I saw that it was red, and you said, "No, the sky is green" because when you looked at it you saw it as being green, then each of us would be perceiving the world in different ways and basing our thoughts on those perceptions. I disagree with it because I look at their argument and I say, "I disagree with that argument because of the personal perceptions I have of the world" which is just as much my right as it is anyone's.

In the usual sense of the word? Do you mean that I am somehow innately illogical? I see the logic of it because I can say, "I see how if someone defined life as suffering then they would follow those thoughts to these possible conclusions, and I can understand _why_ they might define life as suffering. But I, personally, don't define life that way."

Who is it a relief for? I'm sorry but I'm not this person who goes around automatically believing that everyone is innately stupid or evil or something for having different beliefs to me. It's very important to me to consider other religions and other people's perspectives. Sure, I may not put as much effort into that knowledge as perhaps I should, but it is still important to me.

How is this insulting? I thought you were an atheist? Are you Buddhist? *blinks*

*flails* I find it mildly hilarious that we keep getting into these online debates about religion. -_-;; I'm having to hone my 'don't take this personally!!!' skills. ^_^ It's so important to me to always challenge my beliefs but I suck so much at confrontation it's pathetic! ((Hands are shaking)) Then I make friends with all these people with massively different beliefs to me who are like, experienced debaters. :(( The universe is against me!

....no. that isn't an argument and you're not disagreeing with it.
what you are saying it "the sky is not red because god exists." it's not an argument, it's AVOIDING any sort of logic. it is not an argument. it is not logic. you can't 'disagree' like that.

yeah it is illogical. because it's not an argument from logic, it's what you call an "ad hoc fallacy".

you implied you were pleased. that's a nice attitude to have, but i don't think you have an understanding of buddhism.

i am an atheist. there are no gods in buddhism. i wouldn't say i'm buddhist, but it's the only religion i'd care to associate with.

it's not personal - in fact i had this problem the other day too - i'm not staging some sort of personal attack lol *hugs*. i'm not an experienced debater! i have no debate experience! surely the universe isn't against you :P anyway, this is just going to end in us agreeing to disagreeing, as we already do - i was just trying to define the argument....but there really isn't much of one XD;; on both sides, i mean, because our conversation isn't lining up. anyways~ we can stop anytime. i respect your beliefs, you mine, we're all good. (haha i typoed that good as god)

Well actually in this particular case I'm not relating my argument to the existence of God at all. I just genuinely don't define life as suffering. It would seem to me that that definition is from a perception of the world, our experiences, and how life repeats itself; whereas from my own considerations, I would say suffering does not outweigh many of the other experiences of life therefore life cannot be defined as chiefly suffering, y'know?

I wasn't really pleased, more surprised really. I was pleased to know more about it and have a clearer understanding about what the "religion" is ((is it defined as a religion if it has no gods/deities?)) and what I think about it, but you're right, I don't have full understanding of it - we only covered the very basics in class and they were vague at best too.

Oh, I didn't know that. Fair enough, didn't mean to be rude.

Blah. I hate 'arguments' and have struggled for years with taking them too personally. Confrontation immediately sends me into fight-or-flight mode. I start totally freaking out. :/ Getting a bit better at controlling myself over the years, but it takes a lot of work! ^_^; Well you're pretty good at it! *cough*law-student*cough* :D The universe does hate me! It wants me to eat chickens! CHICKENS!!!! Oh yeah, we were going to disagree, that's fine, but I think neither of us are getting our point across properly at the moment. I might have to accept sole responsibility for this at the moment as I am very, very tired right now. :)

WE ARE ALLLLL GOD!!!!! This solves all our arguments! WE ARE ALL GOD FOREVERRRRR!

Well actually in this particular case I'm not relating my argument to the existence of God at all.
^ I KNOW THAT. i was trying to show you that you were not making an argument!!!! it was an ad hoc fallacy!!! it is not logic. it was an example of what the argument would have been had there been one despite there not being one.

i said agree to disagree. it's not really disagreeing, just the status quo.

anyway, i'm tired too, and you've sort of brought this around in a circle so i'm just going to say refer to my above comments because i've already said it all there. *nods* it's all good remember~ :)

*pets* night night~~

Gah *headdesks* I think I just don't understand what you're saying. Oh well, life goes on as per usual. -_-;

*hugs* Niiiight. Hope you sleep. :)

oh and btw, by the top part of my comment i am defining things. of course you can disagree with something, but to do it through logic you have to actually be logical. my point is that you are disagreeing on faith, not logic, not argumentation. there's nothing wrong with this but you have to remember it isn't an 'argument'.

Offhand hey, do you like my shiny new icon? Preeetty!

ooo, shiny.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only